back to day 1 again

llheavy1073 · 20-03-2012, 02:15 PM

Well Im back to day 1 again. I hate this I feel like Im wasting my time and everyone who is/has helped me. I have not called anyone and asked for any support yet for that reason. I dont know what to do my way is not working. My way gets me back to day 1 everytime. I know I have to do something different. Threw out all the objects that I think I could cut with. But every where I look I see something. I hate hat Ive gotten this bad. I feel like there is no hope for me to ever get this. I thought I would let people on here know where Im at.

Wonderland. · 20-03-2012, 07:09 PM

Hey doll,

It's good that you have recognized that your way isn't working, maybe you could try and reach out for some support to help you deal with this. I'm sorry that you feel so hopeless about things but there is hope and there are people out there who can help you. I'm so proud of you for throwing out your tools that takes a lot of courage.

Take care.
Amy x

moose24 · 20-03-2012, 11:59 PM

Hi,
I really think that reaching out to somebody that is trained to deal with this could be of help to you. Well done for throwing out your tools...that's huge but you've got to deal with the root cause or you'll just keep finding something new to use. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite saying this but as someone who's been trying to get control of this alone for years it's really really hard. As scary as asking for help can be, doing this without help is worse.
Be Safe :)

PassedExpectations · 21-03-2012, 11:12 PM

how are you feeling today?

what is your way exactly? if you keep trying the same thing over and over, you'll get the same results. maybe people here can give you some suggestions about how to alter what you're doing so that it is more effective for you.

llheavy1073 · 22-03-2012, 04:02 AM

im doing ok today. My way is deciding to run to the store to get a utility knife. Or deciding to break some dishes or anything to get something to cut with. Or deciding to get a tat just for the pain. And all that stuff the only thing that has ever worked for me was to be in an inpatient for a year and I cant do that at this time in my life.

nevermeantt0fade · 22-03-2012, 05:56 AM

It's okay that you slipped up, it happens to all of us, and I am glad you realize your way isn't working. I know how you feel about throwing away your tools. I did that once and for so long, almost everything I saw I could think of a way I could hurt myself. It didn't last long before I found something. DO you have a therapist or doctor or someone you can talk to? Or can you look into finding someone? It will help more than you think. Please PM me if you need anything

llheavy1073 · 22-03-2012, 06:45 AM

I have been seeing a counselor he wants me to see a pychitrist and we are going to do another eval on me