How to tell my best friend?

[Remmy37]

So my roommate and best friend of four years recently moved away. She hasn't been the supportive in the past anyway about my cutting, so I've wanted to tell someone else about it for a while now. We kind of had a falling out, and now I really need someone who understands what I'm going through and will be willing to come hang out with me when I need it.

I have a friend that I'm pretty sure would be supportive, we've been hanging out a lot and I know she cares about me. I just don't know how to tell her. I was only able to tell my roommate because I was drinking. That's just not how I want to do it now.

I want to be able to talk to her about my urges, my relapses, and the fact that I went through a sexual assault a couple years ago...and that that's what made me start cutting.

But how do I tell her? Does anyone have a similar experience? Or just know the right atmosphere I should talk about it in? And what I should do if she reacts badly?

[WinterSparkles]

What I've done before is talk about the situation in a way which makes it sound like someone else is involved:

"I just found out my friend self harms/has depression/does something bad"

And then check her reaction from it... and maybe then bring it up properly if you still feel comfortable. I usually do that with my friends and 99% of the time it works.

If your friend gives you a negative reaction, it could just be because she's shocked/wasn't expecting you to say something like that. It's hard for people who haven't been through these things to understand. Maybe arm yourself with some information on self harm/sexual assault to hand over to her so she understands it better? Knowledge is power, after all :)

I hope it goes well for you x

[Remmy37]

Thank you for the advice! I definitely will take some information with me, just in case she needs it.n Hopefully it all works out. I have a feeling she already knows anyway...so that should help. She saw a scab on my arm once...I made up an excuse, but she didn't seem to believe me.

[PassedExpectations]

i wouldn't tell her all at once, it might be too overwhelming. you can tell her a bit, and then let her know more if she asks. kind of take it at the speed that she is ready for.