You don't have to have an eating disorder to keep your family and friends around you,they will support you in sickness & health they love you for what you are and you are a true amazing person , no one would leave such an incredible person !
Focus on getting better now angel, wipe away all the other thoughts, cause the other thoughts of being left ...are simply not true. Focus to beat the anorexia and then everything will go fine ILY xxx
A little angel fell into my arms at the 7th of december 2010
I had a bit of a breakdown over eating a cereal bar last night! I needed to make my cals up, but I just felt like it wasn't right, because I don't usually eat at the time I had it, and I don't usually eat that at that time (if you get what I mean) and I felt like I was doing something really wrong and I felt out of control.
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
I keep climbing but then slide back down, and then I need someone to push me back on.
I have a couple of supportive people, but I don't tell my friends waht is going on. Last time I spoke to someone, it was spread around the school..... yeah? It was the ED stuff.
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
I trust a teacher (friend), my therapist, and then my mum and dad.
But I still convince myself they all hate me and just want to get rid of me! Because that's just what I do! That's what I always do! It's the same everytime.
I don't really trust people my age - just from past experiences - and it does hurt, but I try not to let it bother me. They broke my trust, and I won't trust them again - they had their chance.
I cut myself off from the outside world, and lost a hell of a lot of friends, but people say if they were friends they would have stuck around - rather than just disappearing. x
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
May be you still didn't find your true friends but that doesn't mean true friends doesn't exist, you have to trust few people around you,to get support from when you need...
& your parents don't want to get rid of you BELIEVE ME they love you & care about u it's just in your head...
A little angel fell into my arms at the 7th of december 2010
I love them very much, and I know they love me back too. I just feel such a burden - which I AM - because of the way that I am. I'm 18, and like a child....
xxxxx
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
I know how you feel - I am 18 in less than 3 weeks but I feel about 8.
we can both beat this as long as we keep believing in ourselves
*hugs*
lexy -xxx-
It's like, I feel so childish. I'm quite happy watching a kids film or kids TV, I want someone to look after me and take care of me just as if I was a little girl again.
I want to be protected and kept safe as if I were a child. x
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
I also just want to draw you to the amount of replies and the length of your thread.
I am very, very grateful to those that have replied - very, very grateful.
I do try to counteract the thoughts.
I even spoke to one of the people about it, and they said they would never hate me, it's just my head is so good at convincing me I suppose.
I'l try to think about the other part - the bit that shows they don't hate me - a little more, it's just so hard. xxxxx
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
*hugs* for you. you want me to go into your brain and ferret out the annoy things it says??
tis good you spoke to people and they told you what you think is NOT true, just cling onto that like a limpet. darling, people will always be there for you, you dont have to worry about being alone. you're a very special person.
No, I didn't mean it like that Crazy Rabbit Lady, I just am very grateful that's all - and yeap, the PM's.
I think somedays I am quite good at telling my head to shut up, and I manage to get through the day without too much damage being done, but it's just those days where my head is so strong and screaming at me - every single thing possible - and it just becomes too much too fight. I know that probably makes me sound really weak. It's like, the ED, OCD, Self Harm, Anxiety, Depression, Paranoia everything, just kicks in and it's like they are all running around in my head screaming at me - it feels as if my head is going to explode! Sometimes listening to music can drown it out and it makes me unable to think, but it doesn't always work.
Yes please Peanuttree. I wish I could sometimes. I don't know if anyone has read Harry Potter, but in the Order of the Pheonix, Dumbledore has a pensieve - it's a thing where he like points his wand at his head and they come out all whispy and then he puts them in this pensieve and it keeps all his thoughts in there because his mind becomes too full otherwise.... that's what I wish I had!! So I could keep all my thoughts, just stop them from all buzzing around my head at once.
You are a great help - and stop apologising. x
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
*smiles*guess i really should give this book a try & read it...
Sometimes it's easy to calm the thoughts down and sometimes it sounds impossible,i can relate to this very much dear, you're doing great by listening to music , if doesn't work all the time may be you should try another distraction?
Have you mentioned this to you therapist ?
A little angel fell into my arms at the 7th of december 2010
.gif "rose")
I needed to make my cals up, but I just felt like it wasn't right, because I don't usually eat at the time I had it, and I don't usually eat that at that time (if you get what I mean) and I felt like I was doing something really wrong and I felt out of control. 
I wish I could sometimes. I don't know if anyone has read Harry Potter, but in the Order of the Pheonix, Dumbledore has a pensieve - it's a thing where he like points his wand at his head and they come out all whispy and then he puts them in this pensieve and it keeps all his thoughts in there because his mind becomes too full otherwise.... that's what I wish I had!! So I could keep all my thoughts, just stop them from all buzzing around my head at once.