its taking control... again

[imoverthis]

i cant stop hurting myself anymore. my head hurts from thinking too much. it wont be quiet. i wont settle down. its getting worse each day and i dont know what to do anymore!!! i am getting anxious arounf my dag even and she isnt scary at all. i dont know what im going to be like tomorrow even ehrn my family get back.

mum called to check on things with the house. and i think she heard a sadness in my voice. ive been crying all day on and off. and i cried myself to sleep last night too. my eyes are all puffy :( i dont know what im going to do anymore.

i think im ranting so i dont know if i am meant to be posting this hear.

[PassedExpectations]

do you think that you might feel better once your family is home and things go back to normal? maybe you could focus on doing something to welcome your family home, just something small, like making cookies to have when they arrive...

[imoverthis]

no im most likely going to feel worse than better. things are going to feel more awkward. im going to hide away in my room most likely.

[PassedExpectations]

i can see why you'd feel so hopeless right now. it sounds like you're experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety, and don't have a clear way for things to get better. and when family dynamics are complicated, it just adds to the stress.

instead of hiding out in your room, perhaps you could try to be around other people but out of the house? it would probably kick your anxiety up at first, but if you consistantly and gradually try to go out and get used to being outside and with others, your comfort zone will grow. and then you won't have to be stuck with your family all the time.

[imoverthis]

I've been doing that. My anxiety of going outside is getting worse now. I'm sick of myself getting like this. Just so over it.

[PassedExpectations]

hmm... that must be extremely frustrating and draining *hugs* i think i would feel very sick of it too.

has your family arrived home yet?

[imoverthis]

yeah they got home late monday night. it is but i guess im just going to have to deal with it that little bit longer.