Dunno if this is a bad idea :S
feel free to say if you think so
I was just hoping it might help stop others making the bad choice of the first cut.
i can't exaclly remember why i did it, but it was stupid, i remember feeling soooo angry with myself, and i hadn't heard of people cutting it was new to me and i thought i was crazy for doing it!
Well my first time was in July 07 and i did it only once and then i started again in August 07.I was so angry with my dad and i didn't know what else to do, so i tried it.I thought that i would have control, but now i don't.I need it, its like an addiction.
I wish i had never tried it.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
you get to a point where all you think about is SI and you need to do it all the time.
My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin
OoOoOo.... my first time was a while ago. it was somewhere around 02-03 (it was my freshman year in highschool) i remember my mom was getting worse. (she's diabetic but doesn't take care of her self nearly killing her) and one of the last times my grandpa "messed" with me. i agree it's super addicting.
it was in 06 sometime. and i had a really really bad day and i wanted anything just to feel better and id heard cutting helps so i tried it. its the stupidest thing i have ever done. i thought i was in control but im not.
it was about 2 years ago
someone whacked a locker door into my head on purpose and it brought a lot of memories back.
I was so angry and freaking out that i just hurt myself, cut myself
i wish i never had
January 2001. I can't really remember why. That's a bit pathetic really, first time I just wanted to see what it was like, if it made any difference I suppose.
Well, it made a massive difference, just not in a good way.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
hi ,in my case every time i do cut it is the first time, as every feelings i feel I'm in a different world ,its only when i look at scars thats left i realize its not the first time ,
It was 2004 i was 15 I overheard somefriends talking one day about people cutting one day, i had a really really bad day at school and i had flashbacks and i thought i would try cutting I though one time wouldn't make a difference but it did A massive difference worst idea i've ever had wish i had never made that first cut cos i'm still here 3 years later and it's gotten so bad it rules my life and everyday is a battle to try and stop myself.
wow i remember my first cut SO well....
it wasn't even a serious first cut...
i just remember my best friend telling me she was moving away around this time 2004...
and as a joke i said "omg so unfair! i'm going to sign your card in blood so you can take a bit of me with you."
and then I did....
and i didn't think much of it until a couple of months later when I realized that after the cut... i felt no pain... and i felt much better even though i was still upset about her leaving...
so i did it again..
and kept doing till now =(
As a little kid you believed in fairytales,
that fantasy of what your life would be: white dress; prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill.
You closed your eyes and had complete and utter faith.
Eventually you grow up. One day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.
But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairytale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith,
that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
I can't remember the first time I cut. I can remember the first time I hurt myself. It was completely copycat behaviour. I scratched myself till I bled because I was angry and pissed off at my parents and I had a load of other stuff going on but that was the last straw. It just progressed from there. I ws about 11 the first time so it must have been 2001. Now 7 years later I am completely covered in horrific scars. I've had so much time and emotion lost on this.
x
What doesn't kill you can only **** you up for a really really long time...
Well...let's see. My first actual cut.
Bear in mind that before I cut I was already skin-picking or hair-pulling, and it would have eventually become cutting...
Anyways, about a month or so before the cut I had read an article about this girl who had trichatillomania (hair-pulling), and even though the article talked about how awful it was for her, I somehow missed the point and thought to myself that I wasn't the only one, so it was normal to like hurting yourself. Still, I found the idea of cutting myself crazy.
I was twelve.
I had been skin picking and hair pulling for about six years.
My grandmother died of a brain tumor. The night after her funeral, I was sitting outside in the rain, and I started yelling at God. Then, without thinking, I went upstairs, got my razor, and started ripping it open. Once I got one of the razors open, I lifted my pajama pants up and started cutting.
I do not want to know myself. I do not want to be myself. I know better, so I will strive to be better.
As far back as I can remember I've been punching walls, banging my head against things, kicking things, but about a year ago I was upstairs wacking my head against the wall, and my father shouted at me to stop making so much noise, so I grabbed a scissors and started cutting above my knee. It was a lot easyer than kicking/hitting, so I carried on doing it.
My scars remind me that the past is real.
I tear my heart open just to feel.
It was 13 years ago, when i was 13. I did it to make the pain and lonliness feelings stop i think, i thought i was the only one, i never realised other people did it aswell until i was about 16. I wish i had never made that first cut because once you start, even if you do manage to stop its always there when things get tough. I think its like an addiction.
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
My first cut was kind of the end of my childhood...as dramatic as it sounds...it was the end of any purity and happiness intrinsic to me.
I was twelve and it was the first time I realised I didn't like me.
Any body else get that sort of...other worldly realisation everything about you, that you love and is confident and pretty and good and nice is really someone else entireley, and that you bareley know you at all. The sort of realisation that changes everything?
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
And in the spring I shed my skin
And it blows away with the changing wind
The waters turn from blue to red
As towards the sky I offer it
