People don't generally notice mine as they are not that bad.
Strangers or people I don't know that well I'll just say "I'm clumsy" "fell out of trees a lot as a kid" or "should never be trusted near an oven"
I used to work in a kitchen so that pretty much covers my burn scars. And I do martial arts so thats a handy excuse too, though what people think I do at Taekwondo to get some of the scars I'm not sure!
I stabbed myself in the hand with a knife once (stupid) so I say a dog bit me. Though someone did once ask if it was a vampire dog because of the position of the scars :/
Generally I'll try and say something semi-true. People are often satisied with "oh I burnt myself" or "it's just a scratch" and assume its accidental.
I even had someone once say to me "oh you are not one of those self harmers are you?" He was only joking and had no idea that I actually was. I just laughed and said "no just clumsy" and he accepted that.
When people I care about ask me then suddenly I struggle to lie. My friends mum asked once and I just said "nothing" and walked off and my friend covered up for me.
Its awful, but even my boyfriend has believed some of the most dubious excuses, and he knows I cut. But then I avoid cutting in multiple lines etc so they don't look like SH.
Side note: Why do people feel its ok to grab your arm/wrist when they ask?
I'm notorious around my area for always wearing long pants and a jacket (in any kind of weather), so people don't usually think anything about my dress I've been doing it for so long. However there have been a couple times I decided to be courageous and lift up my sleeve half way (it gets so damn HOT sometimes).
-Once last year I did it, and this kid starts pretty much shouting, "Why do you CUT YOURSELF? Do you CUT YOURSELF? How often do you CUT YOURSELF?" I was pretty sure the whole damn class heard him. I just sat there in astonishment at his behavior, really what else could I have done? Needless to say, I wanted to kick his ass.
-Most other times people don't really notice (because the more noticeable scars are on the upper part of my arm, and I only roll up my sleeves half way.) Though of course it helps that whenever I do roll my sleeves, I keep my arm under the table or desk or whatever.
I only have one experience with the scars on my leg. Once I was at the pool (I was forced to go), and my parents settled on an agreement with me that I could wear my sweatshirt but I had to wear shorts -they originally wanted my to wear a bathing suit, ha, yeah right. I forgot the scars were there after a while because I was having fun, and so I decided to reenact to my friends this little stint which involved, I guess in a way, "showing off" my leg. So when I did that, one my friends suddenly went from laughing and giggling to silently staring at my leg. Then I remembered and...yeah. I stopped the skit, it was pretty much over anyway, and stayed away from that friend for the rest of the night. That was awkward. Luckily she never mentioned it and nobody else noticed.
And, there you go. My lovely experiences with the ever so understanding society we're forced to interact with.
Last edited by iamEmilyG : 06-07-2011 at 10:34 AM.
Reason: Spelling and all that good stuff
"Death is not the greatest of evils; it is worse to want to die, and not be able to."- Sophocles
I've only ever been asked three times about scars. Twice I brushed it off with 'oh, they're just some scars'. The other time was rather more awkward - think the child who asked knew what they were. Two out of the three times were from people with learning disabilities. Most people see them and say nothing. Maybe they're not as obvious as I think? Or maybe it's obvious what they are from. I do tend to avoid talking to people/meeting their eyes or anything (whether I've got scars on show or not) so that could be why I haven't been asked.
I cover up around people close to me who don't know. So it tends to be either people who know or people who don't know me who see scars.
Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future
that year by year recedes before us.
It eluded us then, but that's no matter - tomorrow we
will run faster, stretch out our arms further...
And one fine morning - So we beat on, boats against the current,
borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Side note: Why do people feel its ok to grab your arm/wrist when they ask?
I really hate how people do that, it's like the suddenly decide that you don't deserve personal space. I've also had complete strangers slap or pinch my arm when I've answered their question honestly, they always say "Don't do that to yourself." I especially hate it when people do that. In their minds I apparently shouldn't hurt myself buts its okay if they hurt me to get their point across or punish me for my behavior?
"Some people get by, with a little understanding. Some people get by, with a whole lot more."
Actually, I've noticed that less people comment than I think will. Though I definitely keep the scars hidden as much as I can, I notice stares sometimes that aren't necessarily accompanied by any words. I've never been called emo, and I've never been lectured, but still, some people have asked about them, to which I reply, "They're from a long time ago."
Avoiding the truth:
-My little cousin threw a frisbee in a thorn bush and I wasn't about to make HER go get it!
-A stray black cat snuck up on me and I didn't see it until I stepped on its tail.
-I was building a sort of project and I didn't listen when they told me to wear arm protection. This is what I get.
-What scars? (Then continue to pretend you don't know what they're talking about)
I find that it helps to create a unique story that's still believable, and try to add some humor so they'll think, "This person is def. not depressed."
Explanations:
-I used to cut.
-This is how I dealt with stress.
-Google cutting if you want to know.
-Don't worry about it. (pretty much admitting it, but showing you don't want to talk)
I refuse to hide'em, but i don't flaunt them around neither. If its hot outside i'll definately wear t-shirts or tank tops or whatever. People don't notice that much (i'm half-black and therefore dark-skinned), but when they do ask i simply say "my friend's cat... it hates me that much" or "my girlfriends crazy in bed :D"; I laugh, and we switch topics naturally.
My friends probably know, but don't say anything and i prefer it that way at the moment. Someday i'll open up about it
I also said once "wounds i got from battles i've been through... :)" the person instantly got it and didn't ask for more information. I kind of like that answer :D
I normally keep mine hidden, but on some occasions they've been noticed. I normally just say it's nothing, or that it's a long story and that I don't want to talk about.
"Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike." - Albus Dumbledore
thanks everyone i managed to just wear my tunic in work today. big thing for me though no-one has really mentioned my arms. though this wee lady from work that has dementia was sitting with me and just started to stroke my arm, she was a wee dote. but i sort of felt a bit bad not really sure.
I have some really bad scars on my upper arms, thankfully not very many on my lower arms. But when I where shorter short sleeves, some of them show and I get questions abut them. I have discovered if you tell the same lie to everyone that asks, eventually if they are around, and other people ask, they will answer for you.
My favorite one is:
What happened to your arm?
Oh, I just fell on some barbed wire, it hurt.
No one usually sees my scars or if they do they don't comment on them. But I had a friend who seen them after a night out when we were drunk and it turns out she has them as well, the reaction I got from that was sex.
I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed lol
Actually I have been known to blame my nutcase of a cat in the past
Whenever people ask me about my scars (Which isn't all that often.) I tell them I fell off my bike going down a hill and went straight into a recently trimemd hedge. I always finish off by saying that thankfully my bike wasn't damaged because bikes cost money to repair.
Last Monday I started doing voluntry work at a local hospital doing the tea trolly. I was working with another volunteer to be shown the ropes. When we were setting the tea trolly up I was telling her I work in the kitchens at a cafe. As we were doing the round she suddenly says to me 'I've just spotted the burn marks on your arms from work'. Rather than correct her & tell her the truth I just passed it off as clumsyness to which one of the patients smiled and said 'As long as you're not clumsy with my cup of coffee'.
"they're my stripes, I'm turning into a tiger"
"I got scratched by loads of cats"
or if I'm in a bad mood, it's generally "I got a razor & cut the **** out of them " that usually shuts people up
Previously unicorn-tears
In a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace,
falling into empty space
With no-one there to catch you in their arms
Kahlia1981 & silentgirl are my RYL sisters Plumeria Sister
I really wish my parents knew, I'd love to be free and just wear whatever I want when going out, not have to worry about having a good amount of wristbands to cover up, not having to constantly worry about people seeing. But I'm rambling.
All of your responses are funny and I'll be sure to try and use some when I am ready to be open.
And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts...
And I looked and behold, a pale horse
And his name that sat on him was Sleeveless
And Hell followed with him
As others have said, I see people staring sometimes but it is rarely mentioned. I often wear elbow-length sleeves in public though I do tend to keep them covered more when I am trying to develop new relationships, with friends, coworkers etc. I don't think it's a conscious thought.
I don't much care about people staring because I think it's fairly natural to do so, but if someone were to ask I think I'd prefer to be quite frank these days and simply say "I used to self harm" whilst looking them in the eye.
I have never shown anyone mine because I just don't have the guts.
I did however walk into my parents room last night with nothing covering my arms and they didn't seem to care.
I will not show them at work because I just wouldn't know what to say.
I also had to have my wisdom tooth out earlier this year and my dad was sitting with me in the recovery room and because I had had sedation through an IV my arms were on show and I just didn't care that he could see - it was a wonderful experience.
"John, being brave is going where no man has gone before and with Lizzy Stark, that is NOT what you'll be doing!" - Aunt Polly.
“I told him I was going to betray you, and betray Lyra, and he believed me because I was corrupt and full of wickedness; he looked so deep I felt sure he'd see the truth. But I lied too well. I was lying with every nerve and fiber and everything I'd ever done...I wanted him to find no good in me, and he didn't. There is none.”
" that usually shuts people up
