obsession with sharp objects

[celiasdream]

i've been relatively clean for the summer, with a few slip ups but not as damaging as my regular relapses. since then i've developed this infatuation with sharp tools. e.g everytime i'm in the kitchen i always get distracted by the knives, i dissociate looking at them and daydreaming, same goes even with butter knives. when i'm in an office all i can think about are the thumbtacks on the desk. i picked up embroidery but most of the time i can't get anything done because i zone out thinking about the needles. i could spend literal hours staring and touching up all of the screwdivers in the building store. whenever i see blades i get a weird flutter in my chest, one that i can only register as the feeling i would get whenever i was around my ex girlfriend. does anyone else experience this? it's really strange.

[celiasdream]

sorry for the late reply and thank you for even reading my post, i though people didn't use this website anymore lol. it probably is addiction at this point, though i have a hard time calling things by their name when it comes to my mental health. i know i should most likely seek therapy but the thought alone makes me really uneasy.

[nonperson]

Hey, just want to say that I think I can relate. Sharp things can appear to be everywhere at times. I also quite often work with various sharp objects and sometimes it feels like everything I look at could be used as a self harm tool. Whether it's addiction or infatuation, I don't know, but it certainly stems from being in that obsessive phase of self harm where it seems to rule your life and has become an automatic thought process. It makes sense that it could also be worse if you've been clean for a while as well.