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thing i wrote
**posted in Veterans as well, hope that is OK **
The other day, I had a session with my counsellor and he asked if there were things I don't talk about, and why not, and whether it would be helpful to. And this was right at the end so I basically neatly sidestepped the question to be honest. But then I was thinking about it all and decided to write some stuff down for next time and I just wondered if anyone wanted to look over it and see if it's at least coherent and also, if anyone has had any similar thoughts on stuff, I would really like to hear about it 'cause I don't know where I am with it and, like everything else lately, it just makes me feel a bit lost. That sentence was far too long. Sorry.
When you asked if we had reached, or gone past the point where I ran away from talking before, I sidestepped the question. There was one point where I nearly decided not to come back. It was when we talked, before Christmas about the nightmares I'd been having. There were things that I left out that were maybe important. I spent a week trying to convince myself to talk about them, writing them down and then throwing them away. Then all that drama happened with the fight with N., and I talked about that instead.
The things I wrote down really don't make sense to me. I really, honestly, don't know where it has all come from. I was scared you would read more into it than is actually there, and I wouldn't have any answers, and then it woiuld seem as if I was just sick enough to dream up all this scary stuff out of nothing. It is easier to think that I am being stupid.
But you're right, you haven't judged me or made me feel stupid or not-worth-it before, so it's a safe enough bet that you won't now. I'll try to talk about things, 'cause maybe if they bother me that much, they aren't completely stupid.
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