relationships + my issues

lonely_hope · 12-02-2011, 03:39 PM

I feel sorta bad for posting in this section since I don't really give much support on these threads. I'm usually in the other forums...

Well... so I'm 15 and never been in a relationship. This past week (long story short,) a guy said he wanted to go out with me, so we're getting to know each other a bit better before deciding on it. I didn't want to be unfair or anything so I briefly mentioned to him that I have problems with self-injury.

I really don't want to burden him with all my issues. At the moment, I've got stuff going on with SI, ED, and stuff at home. I don't know... would it be unfair for him to have to deal with some of my problems? I'm just confused about it.

Anyone else had this type of thing before?

Shenanigans · 12-02-2011, 04:34 PM

It is not a "burden" for you to be in a relationship and have these sorts of problems hun. It is his decision on whether or not he feels able to support you while you're going through these things.
It's early days yet, try not to worry yourself too much on these things. Get to know him, learn to trust him, care for him, talk to him and have fun. These things take time and you'll slowly feel ready to talk more openly about these things and he will also have more of an understanding of how he feels able to support you with them.
I know it's clichéd but it really is just about time. If he doesn't think he could cope don't blame yourself. Everyone has their cut off limit and it might be that he needs to grow more as a person or you perhaps need a deeper friendship/trust with him before he's able to support you properly.
Whatever happens, make sure that YOUR happiness is the number one priority.
I hope things go well
xx

88shelz · 12-02-2011, 06:25 PM

its a good idea to tell him before making any decisions so that he can decide for himself if he wants to be involved with you. that way you arent going to get hurt or shock him in a few weeks/months/ years when he finds out the truth. was his reaction positive when you mentioned having a few problems?

lonely_hope · 12-02-2011, 10:31 PM

Thanks for both replies :)

When I told him, he didn't really have a reaction. He just said he'd talk to me the next day. Other than that, he hasn't said anything about it. Don't know if that's good or bad... guess it wasn't directly positive or negative...

WeezE · 12-02-2011, 10:41 PM

when I told my gf about my history of SI/ED, she made a condition of our relationship that I refrain form any type of self-destructive behavior, save for an elastic band I wear on my wrist to snap when the urge hits... it gets hard at times, but i love her enough to do whatever I have to to keep her in my life...