my nan (sorry, long)

[_Mariana_]

Two things really.

Firstly, I’d just like a hug and any suggestions about making Nan feel more her old self - My Nan is having really bad panic attacks at the prospect of going back home (she’s been in hospital most of the summer). She refuses to come and live with us or my aunt because we live too far away from her friends and the life she has there. She’s also pretty much given up on looking after herself having previously prided herself on being smartly dressed and having her hair done etc. Its like she just doesn’t care anymore and I honestly think at some points she feels she would prefer to die and be back with my granddad and be looked after by him than have to face life alone again. We’ve arranged for her hairdresser to visit her and mum moisturises her legs and paints her toenails for her, my aunt bought her some clothes that fit her a bit better (she’s lost a lot of weight being ill) in the hope she might begin to get some self confidence back and feel more like her old self. She’s never short of family and friends to visit but im not sure what else we can do. The old lady sat forlornly in bed is not the Nan I remember. I’m really worried about her and how she'd maybe rather not be here.

Secondly, my mum is ringing up Nan’s GP tomorrow to see if she can get any support for the severe anxiety Nan experiences. Nan is someone who will play down any illness or pain if someone asks which is why mum is ringing with Nan’s consent. Don’t get me wrong, I really, really desperately hope something positive comes of this. I love my Nan dearly and don’t like seeing her struggle like this. It just made me feel so useless as a person that mum seems to think it will be so easy to arrange support for Nan (it probably will be, mum doesn’t often take no for an answer) but when I try to find support for SI and anxiety about going back to uni its exceedingly difficult. Am I a bad granddaughter for feeling frustrated this is the case? I felt really bad and selfish

[green.eyes]

you're not selfish hun, people often DO dismiss young people's problems as hormonal or a phase and it can be really frustrating.

maybe you could arrange to do something once a week or fortnight that your gran likes to give her things to look forward to? i really empathise with what you're saying about your gran, mine is in a similar situation and i know it can be heartbreaking to see such a change in someone you love. I think trying to act really upbeat can be helpful, tell her as many positive things as you can, sharing aspects of your day with her could make her feel valued, like you're glad she's around.

i hope your mum manages to sort out support for her
take care and PM me anytime
*hugs*

*hugs* that is really hard. afraid I don't have much advice but hang in there and remember you're not selfish at all.