|
The 'dirty secret' of sexual abuse.
I'm posting this as a general help for anyone who has/is suffered/suffering sexual abuse and doesn't know how to deal with it.
Sex can be seen, variously, as a sacred act or a kind of contact-sport or leisure activity. That mental take on it informs how you deal with it physically and (duh) mentally.
There is an old movie, reasonably famous in its day, where the victim of a rape was diminished in court over the question of her having or not having an orgasm.
The involuntary response of the body is not, ever, a defence for the perpetrator or a cause for shame of the victim.
Where the abuse is more of a persuasive nature than an overt attack, the same holds true.
Especially in the young there can be a significant amount of confusion, where the mental side feels what's going on is wrong and doesn't want to do it but the physical side enjoys it and to some greater or lesser degree sabotages the will of the mind in trying to prevent it. This is normal and does not make, in any way whatsoever, the victim bad or responsible. The human psyche is a complex 'mechanism' but that doesn't mean that you, as a victim, are responsible for the acts and behaviour of a sexual predator. In many cases the predator is aware of these factors and uses them against the victim. It's called manipulation.
As a victim you are entitled to say "I don't want to do this, either before you've started or even when you have started and think you've changed my mind. I do not want you to do anything to change my mind, so do not start."
If the predator disregards your wishes and continues, he is committing an act against you and you are entitled to regard yourself as a victim and seek help.
I hope this helps. NEVER doubt yourself...mind comes before body.
|
