In London. Can't call anyone. I don't know anyone. I'm between worlds. People I knew are gone and I don't know any of the knew people. I'm completely alone. I don't want them to find me and lock me up. They can trace you though can't they? Where I've used my card & stuff?
Because I can't go back and when I don't turn up to my appointment(s) they will call someone out and start tracking me. Still at the hotel. Have to leave Wed but I cannot go back. Also meant to have an appointment on Wed. I want to be left alone. I want to know somebody & want to know what is real & not have poeple watching me constantly
Who's watching you? Calm down, you have until Wednesday. That's still a few days to figure things out before you have to make a decision about what you want to do next.
"And sometimes when our fights begin,
I think I'll let the Dragons win...
And then I think perhaps I won't,
Because they're Dragons, and I don't."
Everybody. Thank you. I don't feel like I'm being watched here but everyone watches me in Leeds and I can't take it. This place is too expensive to stay at. I think I might just get cash out & stop using my card & go to a cheap hostel, maybe.
Katie, is there anyone you could let know that you're safe, so they don't worry?
What are you planning on doing for the next few days, aside from stay at the hotel?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I'm still texting my mum as normal so she doesn't suspect anything. I don't seem to have any friends who care where I am so that's no worry. I live on my own so noones knows I've gone. I don't know why/can't explain myself well but I just cannot speak to professionals. I feel like they will kill me, literally.
I went to my old house & school & the place I was raped today. I couldn't get into my school, it was all locked up. The door to my house was open & I wanted to go in but I didn't want to get arrested for traspassing or anything. I want to go back there. That's my home, that's where I live. I've got a few other places I need to visit and other than that I seem to be able to relax here so just trying to get some sleep I think.
(I'm sort of aware that this is crazy but please don't hate me for it....)
People wont worry because I don't know anyone there. My life doesn't exist there, something happened for me to lose my house and be in a different part of London in a hotel but I do honestly think it's 2007. How can people worry about me when I don't even know who they are? My friends from school have clearly gone. Nobody else has been in contact with me, only my mum. I don;t think I have any friends. The system is what got me into this state in the first place and they are a threat and I have to protect myself. I have to. I have to be safe. If people like that find me and start telling me different they wil just be lying to me and trying to manipulate me. I was up north for a couple of weeks and I didn't know anyone and it was horrible. At least here I know the city.
I'm sorry Katie, I'm not in such a good place at the moment, I don't have much to say tonight. But I'm thinking of you, please stay safe, I agree with Aunty T, it might be a good idea to let someone know where you are.
I'm thinking of you tonight xx
"And sometimes when our fights begin,
I think I'll let the Dragons win...
And then I think perhaps I won't,
Because they're Dragons, and I don't."
What made you decide to go to a different part of London?
London is great, and it's great that it feels like home, but it might be a good idea to tell someone you're here, so they know you're safe.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Where I used to live was a shit hole on the outer skirts lol. & I was raped there & don't want to be around that place for long. This hotel was central and decent. I can't tell anyone because they will come & section me & drag me back & I'll never see the light of day again. :( For some reason central London feels more familiar and safer.
I hope so. I feel much safer than normal just because I know where I am & it seems normal. I'm not confused about everything as much as I normally am. It's a relief for something to feel familiar. I have no plans to hurt myself anyway :)
