Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - *ED trig* still a little girl.

[finding.my.wings]

Im sorry i dont know where this fits- so i figured id post in here and if it needs moved feel free too move it.

last night with friends we were having a discussion about what make us/ when you become a women... we got into gender and sexuality along with soietial view and our own opnions. i found that in many ways i am still a little girl. physically i curl up, tuck my chin down and wrap my arms around my legs. there reasons for this- in a way i need to feel safe- protected adn by doing this i feel that way. like noone can hurt me. im still a little girl- still that little girl. the one he hurt so bad, the one who scared, who cris in the night and is ashamed. now at 21 i keep trying to make myelf smaller- unattractive, tried teh opposite that didnt work too well and my self worth was very low, self worht=not much better but better all the same- still see point to living.

sorry can i have some hugs, support or something- i jsut feel like ill never grow up cos im so scared too.

[troubleshooter]

You would probably be shocked at how many "adults" are still really children inside. Abuse, esp sexual abuse severely stunts emotional, psychological and social growth. *hugs you really close* Children need love and nurturance to grow, along with basics like food and shelter. If they don't get that love and safety, there will be that "half baked" feeling. If you find someone who can properly care for you enough, or find a way to do so yourself, then you will end up growing. The little girl in you needs to know she is safe now, and let yourself be little a wihle and have fun to "nurture" her. Then, once she's had that chance to be little and also feel loved and safe? You'll grow into the woman you are. :) *hugs lots and lots*

[DestroyMe]

I'm 19 years old (almost 20) and I still ahve the habits of a little kid, I still sleep with a night light, have my baby blanket and teddy, even at somepoints use "baby talk" I don't realize I'm doing it though...
the point is you're not alone
*hugs*

[ShyGirlEiana]

Though I was emotionally abused, not sexually abused, I can relate to this as well. Just this morning, even, I was at church. I just sat there, making myself as small as I could while still sitting there fairly normally. Arms around my body, upper body kind of curved over, head down. Scared. Logically, I knew there was nothing to be afraid of. Church is a safe place, and I knew there were safe people there. Logically I knew - but emotionally I didn't. All I wanted to do was go back to my dorm room where I'm safe and no one can get to me, curl up as tight as I can in a corner, hidden away so no one could see me, and sleep.

I know exactly what you mean. I was put in the hospital one time because I scared everyone, as I was acting 3 years old. I still often sleep with my baby blanket and teddy bear. Though I don't know why I do it, I think a lot of it has to do with just not getting the care you need as a child. So you're definitely not alone. *gives you lots of hugs*

[foxfly]

I feel like a little kid all the time. I don't mean to, I just am.