Not knowing

[long road]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tamobhuuta

Both my friend R and the Crisis Team psych asked me for specific examples of the Organisation putting thoughts in my head. I realised I couldn't remember any. I can remember the voices telling me things, and telling me that the Organisation can do this - but no concrete examples.

Do you think not having specific examples could be evidence that this is a relapse in your mental health and that the organisation isn't real?

[tamobhuuta]

It's definitely evidence against the voices, right?

[long road]

Definitely good evidence organisation isn't real and this is a symptom of your mental health condition. Have you tried using it as evidence to do some CBT?

[tamobhuuta]

No. Might try that? That's a big thought though!

[long road]

I know you said you found the CBT very helpful in past. I understand its a big thought. Could you try breaking it down into a smaller thought or belief you could challenge?

[tamobhuuta]

CT psych wanted to stop olanzapine and start amisulpride but with my improvement yesterday and today CT have said I can stay on olanzapine. Fingers crossed challenging the Man gets easier and fear of the Organisation gets less.

[one_step_closer]

You can do this, you are strong and brave and intelligent even if you can't see it. You have worked through things like this safely before. We are all here to support you.

[Accidentally Abstract]

I hope you can carry on challenging those things Tamo, sounds like great progress.

[tamobhuuta]

They're coming out to do the MHA requested 4 days ago, Crisis Team haven't cancelled it.

[long road]

Well done for all your hard work Tamo. Hope MHA goes ok I think the fact you are working on challenging thoughts will be a positive sign for them.

[tamobhuuta]

Have spoken to the social worker and psychs, they are discussing now.

[tamobhuuta]

I have been sectioned, will probably get a bed tomorrow but I don't know where. Mum says there's no point running because the police will just pick me up. I'm really tempted to use this last opportunity to get the implant out.

[Elmer]

I hope that they've found you a bed, or that they find you one soon. Sorry things have got so tough, fingers crossed for a short, helpful stay.

[tamobhuuta]

I'm on edge waiting for the call.

[one_step_closer]

Try and do safe things that help with your anxious feelings. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hope you're not in hospital for long and feel much better soon.

[tamobhuuta]

Thank you, and thank you Elmer.

[long road]

I hope you end up in a hospital close to home so people can visit and that this can be a quick admission with minimal stress.

Sending hugs if you would like them

[tamobhuuta]

Thank you, hugs are very welcome. I too hope this will be a short admission. No call with a bed so far.

[tamobhuuta]

I've taken my dressings off - in a good way! Such a relief. Now I can shower.

Edit:
Had a shower, still got sticky bits from dressings, despite using 2 face washes, shower gel and a baby wipe!

Mum spoke to CT and AMHP and it sounds like I'm so way down the waiting list, I'm never getting a bed. Which is stressing my parents out because Mum doesn't feel safe having me at home AND is going away on Wednesday and Dad really doesn't feel confident keeping me safe alone.

[tamobhuuta]

Last night I kind of reconciled myself to the idea of hospital. I even gave Mum my razor blades. Seriously regretting that.