Well done on resisting, I know how hard that can be!!
I find out at my assessment tomorrow morning if I'm going to get any help or support, after asking for 17 years - this is the first time I've even got as far as an assessment.
The appointment is 9:30-10:45 and then I have to go straight to work, whatever he says.
I had an initial assessment last Friday, a medical psycotherapy assessment: he is just the assessor and can choose whether to refer me for CBT/DBT/another medical psychotherapist/group therapy/CHMT (who have already said because I’m not suicidal, and I can't afford to be off work for 5 hours of their group therapy every week they have nothing for me)/no therapy because opening it up could be more damaging.
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
I'm getting anxious in my chest and my head. It came from nowhere. I don't know what to do. It's getting bigger. I feel like crying but I can't. I want to die.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Just a quick update so far I am doing well. I have had zero voices however I have been taking the olanzapine. I am hoping that the police won't come a knocking again. The coronation was a great deal of anxiety as I have an preexisting mh issue with King Charles. But the coverage is not as bad as I thought it was going to be and I have avoided it for the sake of my mh.
I feel safe and calm about living in my flat rn. I have my cpn coming tomorrow so am going to discuss it with her. I havent managed to harm myself yet despite the voices making me feel suicidal at one point.
So thanks everyone who has given me support in this thread. You are all stars xxx
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
I'm getting anxious in my chest and my head. It came from nowhere. I don't know what to do. It's getting bigger. I feel like crying but I can't. I want to die.
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Are there any grounding type techniques that might help, Lindsay?
That's really great to hear, Dawn, and it's all because of your strength. Keep going.
Thanks. The only thing that I have been doing is double checking that I have been locking my flat door. Which isn't a bad thing even though the flat door is quite sturdy (it took the police quite a lot of force with the big red key) due to it being a fire door. But that's not a bad thing if it keeps me safe. I am also not answering the doorbell unless I am expecting somebody.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Dawn, I don't know if you've clocked, but Lindsay seems really distressed and I don't know if it's worth maybe moving further updates on your successes away to another thread if you're not able for whatever reason to engage in the more serious chat?
How are you doing now Lindsay? Is there duty open on a bank holiday? I know it's quite a challenge for you but this might be a perfect time to call them, both as the 'evidence' of your distress but also to just have a person to listen and help you deescalate this.
Apologies if I upset anyone I just wanted to give an update and say that I no longer need support.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
It's ok, Dawn. It's important that you share your low points and your achievements.
I'm fine. Thanks for your replies. I did try to phone Duty at some point but did my usual hanging up. I don't know if they're on their weekday hours or weekend hours. I just rarely feel up to calling when I need to. I'm so upset because I really need support and I just don't seem to be able to get it and it's all my fault.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
It's not your fault. However unfortunately you're the only one with the power to change it, which isn't fair at all! Really well done for ringing. Why don't you give it another go?
It would have to be tomorrow, they're likely to be finished for the day. It depends when the electrician comes tomorrow when I can try phoning. It's just so hard and a lot of the time I feel like I don't need to phone but when I do they've finished for the day or I imagine they'll have no time for me.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Would writing stuff down to tell them help? I know you do this for your paych, but if you had a document to write down all the stuff you’re feeling when they’re closed, that might help. Also, if you like writing and struggle with phones, would emailing the samaritans be something you’d find helpful?
Just some suggestions, feel free to ignore any/all that are not helpful.
Thanks for your reply. I have written some things. I used to use the Samaritans email but they stopped replying after a while. I'd prefer to talk to someone from the CMHT just so they know I'm struggling.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Anyway. I'm over what was going on earlier, for now. So no one needs to reply to me here now, I'm already talking about things in my serious thread and R/V so no need for lots of threads saying the same things. Thank you to everyone who has supported me.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Trouble is, there really isn't anything anybody can say to help me because I in a tough spot and I'm not alone - there are others here when I reside that are facing the same fate.
