Triggering (SI/OD) - please help

Riviting · 18-01-2008, 01:14 AM

so....

today has been an off day.... nothing went wrong but the pills are starting to work

i take citalopram.

i duno i just feel like ODing i feel like crap... i dont really know why... and theres nothing to stop me from it. im home alone. brothers out. moms at airport. dads away 'on busioness' ugh.... i havent cut in like 3 weeks... i dont really crave to i just dont want to be here... some days i just wanna go into a coma.. just for a while... or a month i duno... please someone just help me!

i feel desperate right now... i duno hwy i feel this way....

Collateral*Damage · 18-01-2008, 06:34 AM

I know what it's like to feel desperate but please hang in there! I also don't know why we all feel like that sometimes but we do. I often think that if something went wrong then at least I could understand why I feel bad. Sigh...it doesn't always happen that way. I'm not sure if I can help except to say that I heard you and I understand. Please stay safe!

Cazki · 18-01-2008, 03:10 PM

Im so sorry that your struggling. *Gives you a big hug* Please dont give up though please keep fighting through this you can get through this. We all care about you so much and will do our very best to support you. Have you thought about trying distractions? The fun and distractions forum is excellent and has plenty of things to keep you distracted maybe you could try listening to music or going for a walk. Please dont OD it really wont solve anything, you will cause more harm than good. Please keep talking to us ok we are all here for you to help get you through this hard time. Please keep yourself safe.

Take care best wishes Ian xxxxxxxxxx

_plastic · 18-01-2008, 03:20 PM

I'm so sorry that your having such a hard time , but please remember that OD-ing is not the solution , you are only hurting yourself badly from the inside !
Can you please not stay alone ? Is there anyone you can talk to about how you feel right now ? A friend , or a relative may be .I don't think it is safe that you'd stay alone when you are feeling low , I really hope you can find someone to talk to about how you feel .

PM anytime I will listen x

Riviting · 19-01-2008, 04:37 AM

thanks guys...

i just have like...suicidal visions like... sounds stupid but like especially when driving like earlier when i was feeling really bad and low... i can just picture exactly what to do how to make this happen. like going on the high waay ramp and flipping my car off the side. the things i wanna do... its so hard sometimes. i didnt OD... i dont want to OD anymore... i am not as bad as yesterday...its so hard these feelings come in like waves. theres no way to distract myself and no one to call. ..

Animad · 19-01-2008, 02:09 PM

I know its hard but you've just got to try to focus on anything apart from you're depressed thoughts but thats much easier said than done. I know you said you've got no-one to phone but just try to find anyone to speak to or phone the samaritans or some similar helpline just to have someone to listen to your problems. ODing isn't the solution, when you are feeling better from it your problems won't have left you and you'll have caused a load more for you and your family/friends and think how your family would feel if you flipped your car off the side of a highway ramp, or if you think they won't care then think of how you'd feek if one of the people you really lik/love did that and thats how they'd feel if you did it, would you want to put them through that.

I'm sure you've got something to live for, you've just got to focus on that and it may help you get through, yes it will be hard but you've gotta keep going.

Riviting · 19-01-2008, 05:16 PM

thanks... *hug* i think i jjust need to get the meds to kick

Sian · 19-01-2008, 05:55 PM

I'm sorry that you are feeling like this honey, it must be very distressing. The important thing is just to hang in there and hope that the meds kick in properly soon. Take it each hour at a time, or maybe even ten minutes at a time if that is easier. That is all you have to get through, ten minutes OK? When you get there, then you just have to get through ten minutes again and you know you can because you just did it. It sounds silly I know but it helps me sometimes.

Try and do something relaxing and comforting for youself, that might help too. Hope you start to feel better soon.

Sian
xxx