Thank you both.
I will call her during my break today. I really wish I wasn't doing a long day at work but I can't back out. I've taken some prn so hopefully that will help. Thanks again for your help. I may try to get a gp appt for Friday (my next day off) and get more prn for my holiday.
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
I spoke to my cc. She was a bit concerned and said I was talking fast and that perhaps I should have a conversation with someone from work to say I'm bipolar and if they could help notice my signs as well. She said to tell my partner if he has serious concerns to phone her. And that I need to becareful or I won't be heading to Egypt on Sunday it will be somewhere else. I think she meant hospital but was trying to scare me. There's not flipping way I'll end up in hospital in just happy :).
I had two people ask me about my scars today and I just couldn't say anything to them and then they were like 'you cut yourself' ? Etc. Feel a been ashamed of myself for mutilating my body so much. It's hideous to see my arms.
Have you guys ever wondered whether there's actually is mental health or a realm where we go and get in touch with ourselves? And our inner feelings? And connecting with the Earth?
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
I think if you do want to go on holiday you need to take serious action and take some responsibility for your thoughts and actions.
Im know you cant control it 100% but you can do things that are good for you like eating well, sleeping/resting as much as possible and looking at how much trouble odd spiritual beliefs has go me into and taking action.
there are plenty of resources out there. I suggest you use them and seriously help yourself.
(not saying your not helping yourself just that you need to take action against your mood)
this can be managed. not cured but managed.
you know how ill you can get. do you really want that?
things that helped me were writing a journal about my thoughts and rationalising each thought (what would I tell someone else in a similar situation), cut out red bull and caffeine all together, rest even if you don't sleep, mood chart or diary and asking for rationalisation on your thoughts.
you can still be spiritual but its not meant to be harmful (this is what I got told from a spiritual leader). its sometimes hard to see but you need to challenege it.... well if you wanna go on holiday. Im not saying you need to do anything you don't want to. but you did say you wanted to go on holiday.
also consider your job. if you get too ill your job could be on the line. I know what its like to be ill and losing jobs all the time. its not a great place to be. maybe consider what you can do to stay as well as possible and stay in work.
spirituality can be amazing but only if used with love. if you start denying mental illness then youre harming yourself and others therefore its not spiritual it is illness.
Im just writing about what ive learnt in the last few days while trying to manage my own similar issues in the hope it will help.
Last edited by Ballerina123 : 20-10-2015 at 10:25 AM.
The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.
Call me Kate.
I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.
If someone has a problem with your scars it's their problem not yours. Xx
You're right. its hard though to stop people asking about them and how you got them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ballerina123
I think if you do want to go on holiday you need to take serious action and take some responsibility for your thoughts and actions.
Im know you cant control it 100% but you can do things that are good for you like eating well, sleeping/resting as much as possible and looking at how much trouble odd spiritual beliefs has go me into and taking action.
there are plenty of resources out there. I suggest you use them and seriously help yourself.
(not saying your not helping yourself just that you need to take action against your mood)
this can be managed. not cured but managed.
you know how ill you can get. do you really want that?
I am trying. Trying really hard. trying to calm my thoughts so they don't interrupt when I'm talking so i concentrate talking and remaining at the same pace and same topic. but thats really hard. My holiday is something i really want to go on so Im trying. Im going to look into sleep apps to help me sleep because going from 10 hours religiously to maybe 4 or 5 (which isn't too bad) is having its toll on me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ballerina123
things that helped me were writing a journal about my thoughts and rationalising each thought (what would I tell someone else in a similar situation), cut out red bull and caffeine all together, rest even if you don't sleep, mood chart or diary and asking for rationalisation on your thoughts.
Im keeping a mood diary at the moment on my phone but its not looking that great regards to how high the numbers are. its a really good app i recommend it to people: its called iMoodJournal. Ive cut out caffeine completely to help with my energy levels.
My energy levels are high but not that high. I saw my gp and she's put me on Diazepam and given me a box to take 2/3 times a day. Work are saying I'm bright and fresh at the moment. I don't think they have noticed thankfully. Im getting told to tell my supervisor about my mh but i don't know. Would it help?
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
If someone has a problem with your scars it's their problem not yours. Xx
You're right. its hard though to stop people asking about them and how you got them.
This is. Stupid question that warrants a stupid answer. If people ask me I just say I have problems or mental health and leave it at that. X
I told my boss that I was bipolar and have energy at the moment. He asked if it was affecting my work which it isn't and he was supportive and said he would make a referral to occy health and get them to assess me so for future references the work place will know how to support me. He asked how he could and I said I don't know.
I'm a lot faster today in my energy and thoughts.
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
Could you spend some time doing quiet and soothing activities. I'm a huge fan of colouring books! Or sit listening to classical music, I quite like radio 4 for calming me down too.
Thank you.
I got an adult dot to dot book which I will try to do when I'm home. I'm been listening to calming music to help my mood. It feels hard though to stay concentrated though. I do t want to Get manic any suggestion to stay where I am would help please. X
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
Most of the things that help me keep my mood at a manageable level are doing the opposite to what my body and mind try to tell me.
Like at the moment I want to work work work! So timetabling in breaks and early finishes and downtime in the evenings are helping to mellow my mood out a little.
Making a conscious effort to do things slowly helps too. The adult dot-to-dot sounds awesome! I might have to get myself one!
Forcing myself to get more sleep or at least rest more helps and eating and drinking regularly etc.
Thank you for your reply. I've taken your advice and stopped long days I'm trying to do things slowly. I'm doing a lot of mindfulness to help my thoughts and focus on distractions being less and trying to improve my concentration.
I've being trying to sleep. Last night I payed in bed the whole time and still didn't sleep much but I was trying to listen to sleep meditations which was relaxing.
I saw my cc today which was helpful.
I'm going to a bipolar group tonight for the first time hopefully it will help. X
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
Hiya,
I Saw My CC Yesterday And She Said I Was High And That She Was Concerned. She Said Yesterday She Didnt Think I Could Get An Appt Earlier Than That What I Have Which Is December.
She Rang Me Today And Said My Psych Is Away For A Week So Shes Spoken To Another Dr At The Cmht And The Doctor Wanted To Put Me On Olazanpine But I Really Didnt Want To Be Fat Again. So I Kindly Declined But They Increased My Aripiprazole And Told Me To Take Sleepers And Diazepam (which Ive Been Taking Already).
Im Scared The Aripiprazole Will Ruin My Happiness. Im Happy But Not High. Im Having Fun And Doing Lots. But Nothing Like When I Have Been Manic. I Dont Know What To Do.
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
Except you do think there is a possibility you could be going high as you started the thread with a title reflecting it.
As I've said all along you have the choice what to do but bear in mind your upcoming holiday and what would happen if you ended up going further up.
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
You've been doing such a good job at trying lots of calming activities and I really want to congratulate you for that. I understand the trap of not wanting the feeling to end but right now it isn't functional for you - your quality of life will ultimately be impaired and there's only so long before it impacts work, especially as you can sit still.
Please try and trust that even though you may not feel unwell or wanting this to end, part of you (the part doing all the relaxation things) recognises that it needs to or it will be damaging to your health. Plus you risk going into depression. The medication should hopefully remove the extreme high but leave you still able to feel happiness.
Hiya,
I Saw My CC Yesterday And She Said I Was High And That She Was Concerned. She Said Yesterday She Didnt Think I Could Get An Appt Earlier Than That What I Have Which Is December.
She Rang Me Today And Said My Psych Is Away For A Week So Shes Spoken To Another Dr At The Cmht And The Doctor Wanted To Put Me On Olazanpine But I Really Didnt Want To Be Fat Again. So I Kindly Declined But They Increased My Aripiprazole And Told Me To Take Sleepers And Diazepam (which Ive Been Taking Already).
Im Scared The Aripiprazole Will Ruin My Happiness. Im Happy But Not High. Im Having Fun And Doing Lots. But Nothing Like When I Have Been Manic. I Dont Know What To Do.
It's a good thing you've seen your cc, however not so good that you weren't able to get your psych appt brought forward, the other doctor from the team suggested you change your meds and take olanzapine, but it does commonly cause weight gain, is there no alternative to olanzapine, like increasing the dose of diazepam? or are you already at the highest possible dose?
I'm not sure how the Aripiprazole works for you, it made me very paranoid, but was supposed to make me happier and less depressed, is there a reason you believe it will ruin your happiness?
It sounds like some of your thoughts and all the questions from others are a little overwhelming, maybe you could try taking some time for yourself over the weekend to focus on just you and your mood, maybe do some relaxation :)
You've been doing such a good job at trying lots of calming activities and I really want to congratulate you for that. I understand the trap of not wanting the feeling to end but right now it isn't functional for you - your quality of life will ultimately be impaired and there's only so long before it impacts work, especially as you can sit still.
Please try and trust that even though you may not feel unwell or wanting this to end, part of you (the part doing all the relaxation things) recognises that it needs to or it will be damaging to your health. Plus you risk going into depression. The medication should hopefully remove the extreme high but leave you still able to feel happiness.
Take care
Thank you. I know, losing my work would wreck me. I have an understanding ward manager and also a caring supervisor whom I have to tell her I'm bipolar still. I need to get a handle of this as I don't want my job affected. I hope the happiness won't go away. I am fed up of the swings though. I just want normal ups and downs and not really low and then suddenly without going to 'normal' i hit really uber happy. I know I risk depression after this and that's what worries me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ballerina123
this
although you seemed very normal yesterday when I saw you. quite calm actually. is there something that has changed today?
I don't know. i didn't take as much diazepam yesterday as I have been taking compared to when you saw me. When you saw me I was calm just thought I was a tiny bit faster than 'normal' but was okay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stumpy
It's a good thing you've seen your cc, however not so good that you weren't able to get your psych appt brought forward, the other doctor from the team suggested you change your meds and take olanzapine, but it does commonly cause weight gain, is there no alternative to olanzapine, like increasing the dose of diazepam? or are you already at the highest possible dose?
I'm not sure how the Aripiprazole works for you, it made me very paranoid, but was supposed to make me happier and less depressed, is there a reason you believe it will ruin your happiness?
It sounds like some of your thoughts and all the questions from others are a little overwhelming, maybe you could try taking some time for yourself over the weekend to focus on just you and your mood, maybe do some relaxation :)
I can't take olanzapine, I just can't. Im trying to lose the weight I've put on and I'm huge now. like really huge. Im taking Diazepam three times a day at the moment. In hospital I used take it four times but I was really different to what i am now. I just feel happy not 'manic'.
Ablify has lessened the voices but my mood swings are still there. I dot believe I'm high despite the title before. I think I'm just happy and enjoying. Ablify hasn't done much to the low mood or high mood so in mu opinion a **** mood stabiliser.
My cc is concerned and she said she really doesn't want to get a phone call from Sharm El Sheikh saying i was in hospital :/. Thats ridiculous because it won't happen because I'm not high nor am i ill.
I just want these swings to stop. I can't go form such a low mood to being really happy wheres the 'normal' ness? or the even keel?
My partner is getting really annoyed at being like this and he is finding it hard and won't say much to me and I'm getting tired of trying to make conversations with him and getting him to interact. its pulling my mood down slightly.
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
