stuck in cycle

[nodak1970]

I am new to this site so not sure if I can say how I self harm, not cutting, for the last month I have been harming almost daily, feel so defeated and scared by this, I have already harmed myself today and am afraid I will again, how can I get out of this cycle,,, even my therapist is at a loss

[Pi.R^2]

Welcome to RYL! Probably best not to say your method, because whilst some vague descriptions are OK, sometimes it can be seen as tipsharing if it's quite a specific method.

Have you tried any distractions to help you get through the urges safely? If stopping completely seems like a bit much for now, could you try to restricting the frequency of you doing it? So on a day where you have already self harmed, tell yourself that you will be allowed the next day, but for the rest of this day you have to try distractions and not even consider harming yourself? Of course ultimately the goal is to stop, but perhaps that will be easier once you get to a position where it doesn't feel like you're stuck in a cycle, but that you're limiting the damage and frequency and therefore are in control of the situation and have the power to reduce your self harm more.

[nodak1970]

Thank you for your suggestions, the urge is strong tonight, am fighting so hard not to, just want to feel capable to get out of this cycle

[crazykat]

I hope you managed to get through tonight safely. Do you know what has increased your self-harm lately? Sometimes if we take a step back to try and figure out the reasons behind it then it can help us work on a plan of action of finding other ways of dealing with it. Distractions can be good too, they won't fix the issues your having but sometimes it is just about doing something so we can allow the feelings to pass because they will. Good luck