So March and April look to be challenging months for our wonderful Jodie, and she wanted to make a thread asking for advice and support and stuff, but couldn't find the words.
March is both Mother's Day and the anniversary of her mother's death.
And April will be the first anniversary of her being raped.
She's already struggling with paranoia, dissociation and her eating disorder, and is worried about how she's going to deal with these coming months.
So yeah, if we can leave lots of kind words and support to help her through this.
Jodie, you know I think you're wonderful, and I'm here whenever you need me, and my flat is always open for you to come when you need somewhere safe. Love you lots and lots <3
I Know we never spoke. Im thinking of you tho Im here if you ever need to chat
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. ~ Girl Interrupted
When you dont want to feel, death seems like a dream. ~ Girl Interrupted
I hope these months will pass quickly for you. Keep strong.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Jodie,
I'm sorry you're facing such a hard time right now. We're all here to support you; you're so loved in this place. Keep fighting and I hope you find the words to talk to us at some point.
x Katie x
Thank you guys.
Jenna, you didn't have to do this, but I appreciate it love. I thought I would ahve found the words eventually but I think I was wrong! I don't know what to think or say.
I feel like all my hard work is coming undone. Even though I hven't actually made a lot of progress physically, mentally I have been able to go back to uni and make new friends - but now I feel myself slipping; not attending, skipping classes, not socialising because I'm too scared I will damage people.
I feel like as March and April get closer, my mental health declines further. I feel unable to tell my care coordinator thigns because she either won't belive me, or will think I'm making it up, or will think I'm crazy and I'm not. This weekend was the most unhinged I've felt in a long time but I don't know how to explain that, or what i experience.
Food. Eh. I'm purging less than I was when teh crisis team got involved, but it's still most days. And I've lost weight and am supposed to tell someone when it drops below a certain amount but I can't because I am physically unable to say the words like a moron.
I'm nearly 21 years old and I can't explain my self. I'm pathtic. I can't even wash my self properly, I have to do it in parts so I'm never fully exposed. I'm disgusting.
I'm trying to focus on some positives. I've got fantastic friends. Jenna, in particular, has been SO supportive recently. Even when I had a crazy night on Friday and probably pissed her and her flatmates off by being mental. I'm back at uni, which people did not think I would do. The work I do manage to complete is usually quite good and I am getting there with catching up.
I have a sort of growing suicidal ball inside me. It's not impulsive and quick like the urges usually are. This is long, and building and it scares me.
And I also realized the other day that I ever went back for the HIV test after what happned. So I'm probably full of disgsusting germs right now.
I can't deal. I just want these months to go away. I miss my mother. I want her here. I want Him to go away and stop following me and leave the people I love alone.
Beautiful Jodie,
You are amazing, kind and strong. I understand how hard these types of anniversaries are and we are all here to help you through these difficult months. There are so many people that love and care for you (including me!) and we want to see you through.
You don't deserve such pain but I know one day you'll have the happy, beautiful life you deserve.
Keep strong lovely.
*hugs and love* xx
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
Dearest Jodie, There is not a lot I can say but I want you to know I do care and I am here if I can ever help in the slightest. You are a lovely, sweet, beautiful person, so much kindness and love and support you offer to others. I really hope these months can pass and you can continue the hard work and progress you have made. Would it be helpful at all to have someone go with you to try and talk about what's going on for you? To try and let someone know how low your weight is slippping? You deserve so much more then this. Truly you do. *cuddle*
Oh Jodie *wraps arms around and cuddles* I know what it is like for certain times to be so much harder than others (between Jan and March are really not my strong points - really not looking forward to being 30).
Know you can contact me anytime you need to talk, or rant, or just company.
Am thinking of you, hun, and sending all my strength your way.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
You're not pathetic you're amazing. Everyone on here clearly loves and supports you. I hope these months go really quickly for you. Thinking of you.
xxxx
I will love myself despite the ease with which I lean toward the opposite.
Jodie, sweetheart, I know I can't offer much but I'm thinking of you and sending so much love. From what you said above you are trying and that's what's important. Do not forget the achievements you've made, hold onto them and please keep fighting. We're all here for you.
You are such an amazing and beautiful being, you really are. And I know your mum would be so much more than proud. I hope you don't mind me saying that.
Much love to you <3
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
You are without a doubt one of the most amazing people I've ever met and I love you so much. You are so much stronger than you believe you are, but I have enough belief in you for the both of us.
<3
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I'm sorry things are so hard for you Jodie but you deserve all the love and support in the world *nodnodnod*
Sending ots of love and hugs and lovely things your way :)
Lanny xxx
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
Beautiful girl, I don't know you very well, but I know how hard all those things can be. Know that I am thinking of you, that so many people love and believe in you, and that you can get through these months one day at a time. You are so strong, and so brave.
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