I'm sorry...

[psychadelicflowergirl]

sorry about this i just need to rant:
So i actually booked to go out for a meal for my birthday today i haven't been out for anything social in months because i'm too scared to, i finally get up the confidence to do it and go out for a meal for my birthday and i get a bloody awful pain in the bottom of my back which has made me unable to walk without my husband holding my hands in front of me like i'm a frikkin toddler!
i just feel like the karma bus has got the wrong person yet again.. i try and be a good person do what i can for everyone around me, be nice to everyone and what do i get? nothing but pain and misery...
i can't lie/sit/stand in any position for more than five minutes so i can forget sleeping.. painkillers aren't helping much either.. they numb the pain for about half an hour and it comes right back! i'm in pain on a regular basis from my pcos and ibs as well i don't even know which one it is really because my doctors won't do blimmin anything! just throw more tablets my way and tell me to take them!
what have i done to deserve this?

i'm so depressed on my birthday when i should be happy about it being my birthday

i actually feel like there's no point in even trying to motivate myself to try anymore because as soon as i get confident enough to do something.. something else comes and knocks me right back down and i hate it..

i'm just a freak and i can't stand to be like this for much longer- i swear the only thing that keeps me hanging on is my husband...

[happiness...its all a lie]

sorry to hear that hun, happy birthday btw. Maybe have a takeaway to celebrate? i know its not the same but it could still be nice. That is really unfortunate but can i say a HUGE well done on booking the table and planning it, thats fantastic and you should be proud of yourself.

Could you go to a&e about your back see what they say?

[psychadelicflowergirl]

we went to the a+e last week and all they said is that my health state is not good... gave me some painkillers for my back and said to make a doctors appointment, which we have done for next monday- thing is i don't know where to start with the doctor what do i tell him/her? i have so many things going on i feel like i'd be wasting thier time if i tell them about it all

[happiness...its all a lie]

Im sure you wouldnt be wasting their time, its what they are trained to do. If your back is still bad explain about a&e and say you want to get to the bottom of what it could be? Doctors are there to help so talk about it all!! It may help you feel a bit brighter too. x

[psychadelicflowergirl]

i've been to the doc and he's told me that i need to do lots more exercise, but with me being scared to go out i don't get as much exercise as i could- i do try by using the wii etc.. doing housework and stuff. basically he thinks that if i exercise it it will strengthen the muscles and i won't be in pain anymore.

i also told him about a lot of the other stuff and was given a blood test- so hopefully they will find out what's wrong with me due to that.
still feeling low, but i'm trying to take it one day at a time x

[happiness...its all a lie]

Well done for talking to the doc that must have been really hard but well done. For the exercise keep doing the wii etc maybe you could do some running in the garden or walking?

Keep your chin up hun xx

[Casper_Fading]

One day at a time is the way to go. I see an osteopath for back pain. He helps loosen the tight/spasmy muscles. Also gave me exercises to strengthen the muscles. Maybe you can give that a shot? I also hire an exercise bike for my house cause I can't walk for long. Lots of options out there :)

[roiben]

There are exercises you can do in the house to help strengthen your back - Things like bridges and cat-raises are good for working on the lower back muscles and could well help. It is worth asking for more support from your Dr - ask him what exercise he suggests and if he has nothing to say, ask for a referral to a physiotherapist that could help you. If need be, insist that it be someone that can make home visits.

[psychadelicflowergirl]

thanks everyone for the suggestions and support x