I just don't know anymore.

[cats]

This is my first post, not quite sure how this works but here it goes..

I don't really know what has been on the go lately with me. The last few weeks have been pretty horrible, I just haven't been myself, kinda depressed and not eating like normal. At first it started out with just being sad at times, the summer I cried for a week everytime I was alone for no reason at all, but that went away and I was my "normal" self again. I worked a lot so I would never be alone. I don't have many friends and hardly go out anywhere. The last couple weeks I have been down and I'm normally good at pretending to be happy, but I guess it has become too much and people are starting to notice it more. My manager at work has talked to me a couple times about it because she has noticed the change in behavior as well as eating habits. She suggested I go talk to someone because I may be depressed. I've also turned to self harm recently and have become a little obsessive over my weight. I don't know why I've been feeling like this and I have no reason to be depressed nothing has happened to me to make me feel this way.

[Straight 3]

I'm glad you decided to join RYL; and it just might be one of the best decisions you've made.

There are people here (I'd bed anyway) that might be able to relate to much of what you wrote; and how you are feeling. I can actually relate to some of it myself - but this isn't about me - and I'm going to try my best to help you in even some small way with this.

From what I'm gathering here, your manager noticed it and thought maybe you should try and talk to somebody - that is a good sign knowing your management cares about you and I think I might tend to agree its a good idea to do so.

Not going out anywhere take its toll on you and plays games with your mind; unhealthy (for mind and body). Not having any friend is really isolating and leaves you to rely only on yourself for support, but its just the reality for some of us, and just saying 'get out and make friends' is not such an easy simply "fix" as some might just flippantly say.

Honestly; I'm not sure what is causing the eating disturbances, or your self harm - for this I apologize.

Are you sure you you have no reason causing this depression, and that nothing has happens to cause this?

I hope together we can help you figure this out; and hopefully get to the bottom of this awful place you are finding yourself in.

[cats]

It's definitely hard for me to just go out there any make friends because I just don't do well with people. (Hate being around people because I never know what is the right thing to say, etc) and the friends I do have I don't see much because of our school and work schedules. But yeah, I honestly don't know why I would be feeling like this which makes everything worse. Something has had to happened, right?

[Straight 3]

Could it be you are looking in the wrong place(s) seeking friendship? You say you never know the right things to say, I'm wondering if maybe you could find a group of people that have similar interests as you. Again, easier said that done; I know that.

You wrote you started feeling sad and then cried for a week last summer. Can you think of anything that might have caused/triggered this sadness?