Triggering (Suicide) - save me from myself......

finding.my.wings · 25-07-2009, 01:42 PM

this wasnt meant to happen to me. im so close to he edge and im struggling to see a way through. i dont chose to die but i dont chose this life. the one person who knows is asleep (its currenlty 12:30am) and i really dont want to wake her. what am i meant to do?????? i dont know if ill get through this night, theres too much temptation and im scared.
the light i used to see, the future i once knew i had and the hope for being 'ok' have fadeed to a dim flickering flame. i cant go on.

Time-Bomb · 25-07-2009, 01:56 PM

Why don't you want to wake her up?
Just stay here and talk.
It's still a dim light. Keep that flame going! =)

finding.my.wings · 25-07-2009, 02:10 PM

i dont want to wake her up cos shes got kids who get up really early- she needs sleep and i dont want to abuse the friendship.

finding.my.wings · 25-07-2009, 02:14 PM

how do i keep it going?
stay here and talk to who?

sorry i sound really mean and rude.

tamobhuuta · 25-07-2009, 02:36 PM

i'm free for a bit if you'd like to talk to me

TinkerDebs · 25-07-2009, 09:07 PM

how are you doing now??

finding.my.wings · 26-07-2009, 02:20 AM

thanks all. i got through the night.

finding.my.wings · 26-07-2009, 12:57 PM

i made it through last night but the thoughts/ideas have not passed. there still there still lingering stil saying i should :(. i dont want to live like this- not this way,but to die is the end- its an endless sleep and im not sure if i want that as much as i dont want this.

>sorry if that doesnt make sense.

Moonlight Princess · 26-07-2009, 01:32 PM

I am so, so proud of you for getting through that night, I really am.
That shows an incredible amount of strength. Now I really hear what you're saying about not wanting this life but also from reading your post that you just want your life to be different to this, you don't necesarily want to die and I think that slowly and gently if we can get you feeling better than this then you can start working out what you do want from your life.

So we need to get you feeling better. I'm laways around for a PM if you want to chat, do feel up to talking about those thoughts anymore? Could you speak to your friend now?
What do you think would help?
*hugs you tightly*
Slowly but surely you can do this.
Kiran
xx

TinkerDebs · 26-07-2009, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cant-erase-it

i made it through last night but the thoughts/ideas have not passed. there still there still lingering stil saying i should :(. i dont want to live like this- not this way,but to die is the end- its an endless sleep and im not sure if i want that as much as i dont want this.

^^ think i follow
and at least you dont want to die
thats sometihng
and well done for making it through