Contains Suicide - The Pill (contraception) **ADULT**

[.ghost.]

Not completely sure where to post this but figured I'd try here.

Basically I started the pill about 5 days ago (combined pill). I'm taking it for a number of reasons that have nothing to do with contraception- my hormones are way off which tends to make my hair and skin crappy, I've been having period pain so bad I can't stand up (not joking) and I keep getting a second period a few days after my first. So basically, I'm not sure how feasible it is to keep avoiding the pill, as much as I don't really want to be on it.

I'm not sure if it's too early to be noticing any differences yet, but there's a couple of iffy things which I'm not sure about.

First off is that my mood feels very flattened. I was expecting the pill to make me go moody more than anything, and instead I've been feeling kind of too 'calm'/unfeeling the last few days. I've found it pretty much impossibly to cry also, which is a new one for me. However, I've been horrendously suicidal recently, to the point where most of the time it feels like a case of when not if, and I have no idea if this could just be an emotional response to that? (I started the pill pretty much the day after finalising a suicide plan, figuring that "it wouldn't matter" if I had horrendous side effects or it did nothing to help etc.) Again, I've only been on it less than a week, is it too early for mood effects?

The second thing which is bothering me more (oddly) is sexual side effects. I'm not sure if it has affected sex drive or not as I've had a rough couple of weeks so it had dropped somewhat anyway, but I'm almost certain that it has essentially 'damped down' my orgasms, for want of a better term.
Without being intrusive, has this ever happened to anyone else?
It doesn't exactly mention it in the side effects list, so I'm really uncertain as to whether it's all in my head It's definitely not mood related as it's never happened before, and it was all fine until pretty much the day or day after I started the pill. Obviously I will make an appointment to see the Dr but it takes forever to get one and I'm concerned they'll either tell me that I'm making it up, or that it's not a serious side effect. Probably sounds ridiculous but it's upsetting me already- I might see if switching pills will help but I'm worried it's just a general effect of being on the pill

I don't even know what I'm after, I guess just support and if anyone has had similar issues with regards to either thing it would be good to know if they went away or if switching brands helped (or didn't). Getting myself a bit worked up over things as per usual.

[Crysainta]

I never experienced that emotionally numb feeling while on birth control pills. Just to clarify, did your suicidal feelings end with the birth control pills or begin with them? It could be completely unrelated or it could have been that your hormonal issues were contributing to your depression, and now there kind of "smoothing out" so to speak. I would talk to you doctor.
On the orgasm issue, that is something I did experience. It was also harder to achieve orgasm for me, while on the pill. That problem might go away with time but if it bothers you, talk to your doctor about other options. Good luck with everything.

[Crysainta]

Also, your post reminded me of this:http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...-part-two.html

[Day Tripper]

One pill I was on made me close to suicidal, horrible nightmares, etc. It is common for those things to start early on. The last time I was on a pill I felt like I was going to drop dead within days of starting it.

I've found most of the bad things go after my first period on a new pill. Your body does need time to adjust to the increase of hormones and stuff.

At the same time, if it's that bad, a different pill might be your best option. I've found telling a doctor, nurse or clinician just that I simply didn't like this particular pill was enough to get them to say "okay, no more of that for you, let's try this one instead."

[Mandimoo]

I was horrendous on one brand - not sure if we're allowed to say which, it basically magnified all my depression, almost all of my self-harm and suicidal times were during the 2 years I took that pill. After noticing it did zilch for my hormones/pcos they finally changed me to a different brand and i've been fine on that.

[Gofeen]

Don't know much about the pill but when they put me on it for heavy bleeding I went crazy!!!! However I have found the merina coil amazing! It really changed my life.

[Mandimoo]

I had that at 6 weeks post labor and it was worse than childbirth! And fell out and I was pregnant when it fell out. The implant was good but i did have some mild depression from it, a lot less than the pill.

[ButterflyKisses]

I've had this problem for the whole time I've been on my pill (years), so sick of it, not sure if it's the pill or if i'm generally just a bit dulled lol. So come off it a couple of months ago so we shall see! Here's hoping. If it doesn't get any better for you, I'd suggest changing, but be careful, changing pills can be powerful with our emotions, take care

[.ghost.]

Thanks for your replies, just thought I'd update- changed pills and been on a different one for about 2 months now and things have been a lot better, though maybe a bit early to tell long term. I'll keep an eye on things :)

ETA: mandimoo, mine issues are all PCOS related too, driving me mad and the nurse basically said there was only a limited number of pills to go on (some may make things worse apparently), which was also why I was so stressed over swapping!