Hello!
I want to say that I'm sorry that you have been struggling so much lately and I can relate to a few of the things you have mentioned in your post.
The thing with life, unfortunately, is that bad things do happen you just have to take one day at a time and to try and find the good that is hidden within those bad times. What I am trying to say is that yes, your grandma has passed away, but you still have all of those wonderful memories that the both of you have shared. With your father, even though he is sick he is still with you and the two of you can still do things even if it is just spending some time together doing something simple.
You never mentioned this, but is there anyone in your life (a doctor, family member, ect.) that you could get some help involving how you have been feeling and about your self harming. I know it can be scary to tell people that you aren't doing well, but just having someone in your life that you can turn to and to talk about everything that is going on could be extremely helpful. Along with that you could always try different forms of distractions. This link has a lot of good ideas of things that you could do to take your mind off of everything for a bit
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ead.php?t=1403.
I hope I have been on some help and that things start to look up for you soon. Feel free to send me a PM if you ever need someone to talk to.
Take care and stay safe. :)
