getting worse i think

xXOpheliaXx · 09-09-2011, 02:21 PM

before as i mentioned i was restricting my food, it has now got even more so, i cant not think about food how much i have eaten and weighing myself. my hair has started to get really bad, though i take vitamins for it. i really dont know what to do as it is working and i am losing weight just like i wanted, sorry just so many things going on in my head at the moment.

thanks xxxxxxx.

xjessx · 09-09-2011, 02:25 PM

Hey xXOpheliaXx things sound really tough right now *hugs* have you got a therapist? Do you know why you are becoming so entangled in your ed? Did anything trigger it?
We will be able to help better the more we know, take care xxx

xXOpheliaXx · 09-09-2011, 02:30 PM

i dont have a therapist and i dont even have a diagnosis for an ED, it started off as i wanted to lose weight so i ate less and went swimming and stuff, weighed myself the right amount and stuff, but lately it has become all consuming and obsessive, i mean it seems to be all i ever think/worry about like its the only thing that matters any more.

Buttercup. · 09-09-2011, 04:44 PM

You should really make an appointment with your PCP and see if you can get yourself a referral for a therapist. Being able to talk about it and what is triggering it can be so helpful. You deserve support. Also, if you see your hair getting worse it shows the effects of your ED..there could be..and will be more physical damage you are doing. You don't want this to get to the point where your health is permanently damaged..

xXOpheliaXx · 10-09-2011, 12:18 AM

i will make an appointment at the doctors. i think what is triggering it is he fact i need to lose weight. i dont think i have quite got to the stage of an ED just yet, well not officially anyway. but my hair has got better since i started the vitamins. also i like the weight loss, so its kinda hard.

xXOpheliaXx · 11-09-2011, 01:36 AM

I think i am driving myself crazy here it consumes my ever waking thought and my dreams even have food in them. i freaked out big time today cause i had to eat solid food (other than soup and bread i mean) i really really dont know what to do, sorry xxxxxx

xXOpheliaXx · 12-09-2011, 12:08 PM

I could really do with some help on this please?

meb88 · 12-09-2011, 02:09 PM

the thing is if you want to get better you have to be prepared to give up the weight loss. all the while you restrict you will be preoccupied with thoughts of food and become increasingly obssessive. and the horrible fact is that you have to do all the work yourself. the only one who can help you is you. sorry, im a nice person really!

damagedsurvivor · 12-09-2011, 08:25 PM

Well hun first thing you need to do is calm down because when you stress the more you wont eat. So try and relax as much as you can. Eating food doesnt have to be a chore. No one here is telling you to eat full course meals. Damn I dont even do that and Ive been in recovery for 12 years. Try eating small things throughout the day. Make sure that you also eat plenty of veggies and fruits. Very essential for your body. Now whether you have ED or not you do have eating issues. It's not easy doing this on your own but with the help and support from people on her including myself we can help you beat this. One question, have you ever stop to think what triggered these behaviors in the first place?

As for what Meb88 said please listen to her she's has good advice too and Im sure she really is a nice person.

xXOpheliaXx · 13-09-2011, 12:43 AM

I think that what triggered it was that i put on a lot of weight after my mum died, and one day just decided it was time that it all went and the i was gonna get rid of it and so thats what i have been doing, then i started to obsess about it and it became this huge great thing that i never intended it to. but i was losing weight and still am, so i am happy with, it's kinda like i would/will do whatever it takes.

also i was never in any doubt that meb88 is a very nice person and the advice is very good.

thanks xxxxxxxxx.

damagedsurvivor · 13-09-2011, 12:55 AM

Wow well that would certainly do it. Always a loss in the family or something tragic happens to you will trigger this disease. For me it was being raped. I didnt want to live after it happen but I also couldn't go through with it so instead I stopped eating.

Well Im sure you are happy losing weight but I hope you are eating enough to keep you going. For some reason I dont have that luxury of losing weight. My body just wont let me. I cant even restrict for one day without feeling so bad that I have to eat something. I hate it but I am at my healthy weight so I guess thats good.

Yeah neither do I about Meb88. She sounds like a very nice person.

Stay strong hun and your welcome!

xXOpheliaXx · 13-09-2011, 01:08 AM

no I put on weight after she died, then wanted to lose it again, thats what has triggered it this time around. before when i was struggling with similar things it was after i was assaulted like you were, then i got better and got over it and was fine for ages and at a healthy weight, then i put on loads when my Mum died and now im losing it again.

damagedsurvivor · 13-09-2011, 01:15 AM

Oh okay sorry. I really haven't been myself today. Really bad morning. But that would definitely trigger you to lose weight again after gaining. I just hope you are careful and can stop when you need to without getting really sick. It's not fun having to start something all over again. But you do have support on here including myself so maybe we can all help you keep yourself on track. The only thing you need to do is eat!

meb88 · 14-09-2011, 12:48 PM

Hey richshine, you ok today? thanks for sticking up for me!

xXOpheliaXx · 14-09-2011, 04:09 PM

heya, its not like i didnt think you were nice before she backed you up xxx. i dunno how im doing at the moment, just a bit of a mess to be honest.

damagedsurvivor · 14-09-2011, 05:14 PM

Not really hun. I'm not doing very well lately.

Ophelia how are you doing hun? And your welcome Meb88

xXOpheliaXx · 14-09-2011, 05:22 PM

i have stopped stressing quite as much but im eating even less, but i lost more weight and can now fit some clothes that i couldnt before so its all good in that respect.

damagedsurvivor · 14-09-2011, 06:38 PM

Well that's good you stopped stressing but you really should try to eat more if you can. I'm not saying a full course meal but just something small.

xXOpheliaXx · 14-09-2011, 06:46 PM

im trying i really am but i find it so hard, i think that im not stressing out because im eating less and im afraid that if i eat more that i will begin to stress again, its like i cant win!!

xXOpheliaXx · 17-09-2011, 12:10 AM

it really is starting to get on my nerves now!!! i dont eat very much at all go to work run around like a headless chicken for 3 or so hours come back and have apparently put on weight, how does that work? im starting to stress out again amd its driving me nuts, sorry xxxx