Originally Posted by
Stellata
Can you connect with yourself on an emotional level?
Whoa. I totally forgot I made this thread.......Drunk post, oops.
Um.....Anyways, I guess if I really think about your question......I probably don't connect with myself on an emotional level. I tend to bottle things up and have a hard time talking about stuff/getting super close to people.....
A good friend has often said that I don't "Take care of myself..." Which I guess is kind of true: I drink too much, don't always eat enough, blah, blah.....Hell, I am a member on this site so that says a lot right there...
I guess lately, I"ve just felt really lonely.....I'm ready to be in a committed relationship, but no one seems to want that...If I have one more person tell me they "Love hanging out with me but don't want anything serious," I am going to puke...Maybe it's an age thing? I'm 26...My self-esteem has been shot to hell as well because a "friend" said some very hurtful things to me....and he's also someone I've liked romantically.....and now we're not talking.
I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me. I understand that if a partner in a relationship is....emotionally unstable......for lack of a better phrase....that it's difficult on the other half of the couple.....Like, I am living proof. I've been dumped b/c of my depression/"moods" whatever you want to call it......I've had people tell me it's hard to sometimes be around me because I can be quite self-deprecating/loathing...Throw a few drinks in me and it can get bad.
I mean, it's kind of pathetic that I'm at this age and super single. It's even more pathetic that I've put up with some of the jerks I've dated. Maybe I am subconsciously self-sabatoging myself...Or IDK if this makes sense, but...Maybe my self esteem is so crap I just don't feel like I deserve anything better? So I am going along with the losers....?
Sorry for the rambling...but thanks for the replies.
