A little reassurance, please?

[The Worst Witch]

Hi,
I'm really sorry to post but I've had a horrible day. It started off nice enough, a friend that I hadn't seen for 12 years came and chapped on my door with her baby (I work with babies) saying she'd just moved back to the area and it would be nice to 'catch up'.

We went for a walk and everything was fine, she was telling me about how she met her partner and it was a lovely afternoon, I was really pleased how we seemed to get on so well after such a long time. It started to go wrong when she gave me (what I now suspect to be) a sob story and how she had no money to feed herself to which I said "speak to CAB, they'll be able to help you out on what you're entitled to benefits wise". She then said "you don't understand, my baby is gonna starve...can I borrow £25?"

I absolutely point blank refused and left, but now I feel stupid. I've found out she lied to my mum and told her a load of bollocks, and my sister expressed her concern too. Now I feel like its my fault and that she only wanted to spend the day with me because she knew I was the type of person who wouldn't turn her away, I feel used and so very, very angry.

[Aardbei]

I'm so sorry lovely. It's awful when what you thought was a nice experience turns sour. You definitely did the right thing to refuse to give her the money.

You will feel angry for a while, but those feelings will fade, and talking about it will definitely be helpful too. Can you arrange something nice for yourself with a friend to distract?

[The Worst Witch]

Thanks Ali for your reply, hearing other people say it's okay to feel angry helps.

I'm going to stay with my friend tomorrow after work. I'm starting to have doubts about her too (it's well known that my dad was in a very well paid job and that my family are rich) and this isn't the first time this has happened. Basically just questioning everyone in my life now, just because I have money (or more technically, my parents do).

[Pi.R^2]

It's ok to feel angry, I would feel so hurt by something like that too.

Remember that just because she seemed to have an alterior motive, doesn't mean everyone else is like that- ask yourself which of your friends who know you have money have ever asked you to lend them money?

I hope you can arrange to do something nice with a friend as Ali suggested, to distract yourself from this situation and to remind you that there are plenty of people who like you for you and don't take advantage like this ex-friend you had the misfortune of dealing with today.

ETA: Just reread your post- do you mean you are also having doubts about the friend you plan to stay with, or did you just mean that you are having doubts about the friend in your first post? Sorry if I'm being slow here!

[Twirl3]

Hi Poppy, Im sorry to hear that ur having a rough time. It must be difficult for u at the moment to decide wether your friend is worth all the trouble or not. I think u will have to decide for yourself.

Im glad u have other friends and they are being supportive. Its good that ur gonna stay with a friend and have some time to think.

Im here if u wanna talk x