Please tell me to piss off as I don't have psychosis. I suffer from pseudo-hallucinations and they scare the **** out of me at times. I suppose I just want to say I can't imagine what it is like having full blown psychosis and hope you guys can get the support you need from this thread.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Welcome back Banana89 :) - Is it normal for you to have two extra voices appear in one day or is this alot worse than normal for you? Is it something you'll be needing to mention to your doctor or are you going to see how the meds work out first? I think I remember reading on page one that you've only been on Anti-psychotics a few days so far. Sorry you've been having a stressful day *gentle hug*
Thanks Michelle *Hugs back* It's hard to say what's normal to be honest. I first remember hearing voices when I was about 4 and they've been there my whole life, but in the last few months I have deteriorated a LOT. Before I heard voices and could occasionally talk to them, now I see and talk to people. So the extra people isn't really that odd at this particular "episode" but in general I guess it's odd. I'm seeing the consultant of the MHS with my psych on Friday so I'll mention it then. Yeah you're right, I've only been on APs for about a week now so I need to give it more time. I just feel like it's getting worse which is frustrating. How has your day been? Glad you've had no symptoms the last couple of days - hope it continues!!
No Reason welcome I absolutely refuse to tell you to piss off! No rules here on who's allowed. What's the difference between pseudo hallucinations and psychosis?
No reason - it's the individual symptoms that cause all the hassle and pain, not a label or diagnosis. I myself don't have a formal diagnosis, and I'm sure someone else on page one said the same. Please, if there's anything that's worrying you, bring it up :) You're more than welcome.
Apparently, the difference is that I know that what I hear and see can't actually be real despite how real they seem. Still blummin difficult to deal with though.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I've been diagnosed with psychosis but I still have a nagging feeling that it's not real - even though it is - but it isn't - but it is... Point being however you view it, it's still f**king scary. How long have you had them?
I've had it for quite some time and then a new one joined over last summer. i suppose I have had the other for a number of years but it has worsened. It is scary but I just need to remind myself that they aren't real. It is a symptom of bpd apparently. Feel like a fraud posting here - sorry!
I haven't bothered telling them re the man in my house. My housemate says I should but he is real so they need not know.
Last edited by ThinkingofRecovery : 20-04-2009 at 11:24 PM.
Reason: Added stuff
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Not at all a fraud!! To be honest I feel like I'm a fake too but then it's all so real. I'm so confused by myself. Yeah it is really scary. I keep trying to tell myself and Them that it's not real but I just can't quite believe it. Every time my mum tries to ground me in reality all I can hear is Anouk screaming that it's all lies. Felt like I haven't been in the real world today. What does the man in your house do/ say? Maybe a good idea to tell them? I'm gonna have to tell the consultant and psych on Friday about how I process the chemical Argon and about Lola and The Man and everything... Urgh I'm not looking forward to seeing the look on their faces and having them say "Remember, although it's real to you - it isn't actually real" with that pitying look!!!
i'm sorry to hear that Sarah. you deserve to be taken seriously. stick to the truth - which is what you believe, how you experience things. begin by validating your own feelings. i hope that they will get the message and understand soon. please don't take it too personally; i've had experiences like that too.
i think that a lot of what we experience sometimes is influenced by things we've seen in our life; whether that's books, TV, political things, things that people have told us earlier in life. i know it is for me - like my voices sometimes say a lot of things about Hell and Dante's Inferno (which is a real piece of writing by an Italian poet). it doesn't make it not psychosis, if that makes any sense. xxx
The thing is, the words and names and languages that we use aren't from anywhere in particular, it's just that I know that's what they are. I know what race my Voices are, which planet they come from, and I can't explain how I know... I just do... so I read a lot of fantasy, but they have never ever come from there... I just don't think my psych understands...
Quote:
Originally Posted by banana89
Sarah - Hey welcome! I'd love to hear your story some time if you feel like it I've certainly written more than my fair share on here! I think I saw your post on the psychosis/ schizophrenia thread about neighbours' voices. Psychs and the like are such idiots sometimes. Are you getting better help now?
Yeah, I did post in there... I hated my old psych, he was horrible and barely spoke English... I have a new one now, and he's really easy to talk to but I'm not so sure he understands me...
i understand. the Controllers use words that aren't Earth-world words either, and They come from a planet called Aeon. it's very complex, and i won't go into it too much because i don't want to expand too much on a possibly delusional system, but it appears a lot in one of my old R/Vs. i'm sorry your psych. doesn't understand, it's a very lonely and vast place to be.
i am still not experiencing the Controllers much at the moment, even when the police were parked outside my flat in a van with a cage in the back i didn't get too paranoid, though it disturbed me a little that it is probably the same one my psychiatrist sent for me a couple of years back, luckily i didn't go in it.
but They have been in the air molecules. i was talking to my support worker and she said it is important that i tell people if things start to come back, but she said that at the same time as i have been thinking - maybe i shouldn't. i don't want ever to go back to hospital, or at least not for a long time. i don't want to worry people or have them all looking and whispering at each other.
and what is unwell? when They start to return for me, when They start to get noisy and intrusive and alive, i function highly. i make plans on how to stop Their terrorism. i have a meaning and a purpose. it is only after a while that things go across a line and i'm tormented and stop functioning. what if i can remain in that high-functioning place and kick Their arses once and for all? because They are not psychosis. something is psychosis, but i can't put my finger on what.
i'm confused. what i'm trying to say is, which part is "well" and when does that stop?
ok, well i've just started seeing early intervention psychosis team.
dont see how they are going to help, but i'm going along with it for now anyway!
at 14/15, i started hearing a girls voice, and later started seeing her.
i reffer to her as the 'other me' but shes really nothing like me.
but shes never left me sinse she first came, though there has been periods of time when she hasn't really made an impact / said/done anything.
sometimes i like her company - when shes in a good mood, but when shes in a bad mood then it all gets scary.
she has total control over me. if she tells me to do something - i do it.
at the moment, shes with me all of the time, and shes very much in a bad mood.
when shes in a bad mood, she will make me cut, make me stash pills, try and make me kill myself, she makes me take pills, and used to make me sit on the railway tracks.
i see my attacker. faceless, but its him. he scares me. he'll watch me, and he'll follow me when i'm outside, and i have to try and hide away from him so he cant get me.
there is the girl voice who wont let me sleep, when i try to she will tell me whats going to happen if i do, like for example, if i sleep there is going to be a fire and i wont wake, and the animals will die etc.
sometimes when 'the other me' is in a good mood, and wants me to get some sleep, she will make her go away.
then there are what i call 'silly things'
like i have hallucinations,
i see my pet rats doing things that are actualy impossible for rats to do, but at the same time they are doing it. i get confused by this so much, because i know they are not really doing it, becuase its impossible, but they really are doing it at the same time.
i also have extreme paranoia about my food and drink, people want to poison it/add non-vegan ingredients to it(im a strict vegan), and they may have had chance to do this without me noticing.
sometimes can go for days without eating or drinking purely because of this.
theres actualy a hell of alot more than this...but i dont want to talk about some things, and somethings are just to difficult to explain.
i'm not on meds, the early intevention team want some more meetings with me before they decide weather to try meds or therapy.
i dont see either working tbh, but i have zero faith in therapy.
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I absolutely refuse to tell you to piss off! No rules here on who's allowed. What's the difference between pseudo hallucinations and psychosis?
