Contains Suicide - So BASICALLY my entire life is a joke.

[somekindofjoke]

The best thing I could do, literally, is find a way to kill myself that wouldn't leave a body.

Since I don't have life insurance and can't afford to have my body put in the ground.

But if I **** it up and live, I'm ****ed because I don't have health insurance. I have enough student loan debt to ruin my future, medical debt's not gonna make things better.

I mean, I have two Bachelor's degrees and I'm going for a third, I want to go to pharmacy school, but let's be honest, I'm too ****ing stupid for that. I'm good at school but **** at real life, and I have all the personality of a chunk of concrete. I'm not going anywhere.

I'm living with an untreated mental illness that might be bipolar II. I can't afford a diagnosis, or meds, or therapy. And my family basically thinks I'm an overdramatic piece of ****. They're probably right. If I'd just grow up and get over myself and get a ****ing job that'd fix everything. Like the 16 years of self-harm and the drug addiction and every other thing about me.

I don't even know. Ideally I'd be struck by a meteorite sometime in the near future. Or perhaps a bus.

[StormCloud]

Low on words, but I'm really sorry you're feeling this way.

(sorry, I know I don't belong in the veteran area, but I wanted to respond)

Try to look at the bright side of every single situation. Make up something if you have to :D

It might sound silly, but it's actually pretty helpful, for me at least.

Best of luck!

[Mandimoo]

You can't be stupid with that much education and it seems to me that it takes a smart person to reach out when they need support. You do need help, are there any free medical places by you that help those in need?