me right now. [ED trigger/purging]

[Keep Smiling]

i can't stop crying.
i just do not know what to do anymore,, i don't know what has happened! i have just hit complete rock bottom and i feel like dying.

this weekend me and my family went up to Wales to meet my mums side of the family for like a get-together type thing and before i went i was so stressed about food and stuff but i thought to myself 'its only a weekend,, i have been 2 weeks without purging before so i can do 2 days' and i was all for it,, i was feeling positive about it and feeling like it is a big step towards getting better.

i didn't purge,, i found myself with my fingers down my throat a couple of times but couldn't bring myself do it,, i just wanted to prove to myself that i am stronger than i think but now i feel awful! i have put on weight,, i have put on so so much weight and i feel like i will never be rid of it. i feel so worn out and fat and just... i can't even describe it but i know i have never felt like this before.

*cries* i don't even feel like i am in my body,, my head is all fuzzy and i can't think straight. i have an exam tomorrow and i don't think i can do it,, its Textiles aswell which i want to pass so so badly because i love it but... i just feel so ****.

anything is welcome right now. i am sorry if this makes no sense,, i can't even read it back... i am sorry for whining and crap and i am sorry i am not replying very much (its partly because of the new site ) i will try and sort myself out soon...

love you all.

lucy.
x x x

[*Stars_above*]

*big hugs hun*

honey why dont you look on the other side of things.. you did it.. you wasnt sick thats so good and i bet it was hard but you did it.. you should be so happy with your self not crying. ok yea you may or may not have put on weight but look what you did.. you took such a big step, you thought about it but DIDNT do it.. thats so good well done.. i know your not but i am so happy for you sweet heart really i am. i know its hard like really hard but you did it..feel happy that you wasnt sick not sad cos you wasnt, sorry im no help cos i know nothing i say will make you feel better but really dont be so hard on your self you did good babe XXX

[ashlee_118]

*hugs* Lucy sweetie just wanted to say im here if you need it im not 2 good atm so dont know what to say. well done on not purging thats great and dont appologise for posting not at all sweetie take care
Ash xxx

[~XxxFireflyxxX~]

Lucy sweetheart, two days is not a long time at all, I doubt you wil have gained weight. i know how you feel though but its only because your tummy has had a bit of a suprise and is a wee bit confussed, so you're probably a bit bloated and generally not used to having enything in your tummy.

The fact that you didnt purge is an enormous achievement and I'm sooo proud of you for being so strong and not doing it even though you felt you needed to. *hugs you soooo tight*

You can do this sweetie, your making some huge steps in the right direction. Well done, just keep talking to us about how you are feeling.

Sweetie I know the new site is scary but it will feel like home again soon, you will get used to it.

Sophie
Xxx

[beautiful_disaster]

Keep fighting Lucy.
You know I'm always here xxxx

[babii.blu.eyes.]

i love you hunni. i dont know what advice to give but *big hugs*
xoxo
anna

[Anansi]

Honey, you're doing so so well not purging, and still managing to reply to peoples posts!? I don't know how you do it.
Remember that exams aren't everything, I'm going to assume you're either taking AS-levels (me too!) or A-levels. My friend who has just swanned off to be with his uni friends told me that no one has ever asked him what he got in his AS levels. Ever. And I'm sure you've noticed that very few people care what you got in your GCSEs? SATs? I don't even remember what I got in my SATs.
Everyone makes out like they are the life-defining thing.
Richard Branson had dyslexia and mostly failed at school - didn't turn out so bad for him! :)

I'm here if you ever want to chat ok? Stay strong!
Emma. x

[Psiren]

Sweetheart you don't have to apologise for anything.
I know it's going to be hard right now but you have to look on the good side of this. You got through the weekend, you didn't purge. That's good.
I doubt you've put on weight, especially as much as you think you have.
You can do this, you're such a strong person and I know you can fight this.
*big hugs*
I'm here if you ever need me.

[Buttercup.]

Keep fighting Lucy, I know you can do this, you're such a strong girl. You will get through this, you know where I am if you want to talk. I'm always here for you sweetheart. Love you.

Jess xx