just got back. had a few tests and a scan, baby is absolutley fine, and no head injury :)
i, on the other hand, am sore, emotional and tired. scratches on my face.
they asked if i wanted to stay for the night, but i decided to come back. need to be at 'home' right now.
the girl that assaulted me was another resident, who of course is blaming me, and it probably looks likely that she will be believed because of me indirectly threatning her, but not in front of her, i was talking to a member of staff. i have a dark sense of humour, they should know this.
shes been taken to hospital, i saw her in a&e with the police, so she can see psychiatrists i suppose. shes gone for tonight, but history of this place says that she will be back, there are no consequences for violence here. seriously.
if she comes back. im leaving.
thanks everyone, and thanks Lizzie for thinking to make a thread for me
*hugs you all*
x
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Oh god hun, my heart skipped a beat when I saw the OP.
I'm so glad the baby is safe and well. That sounds like such a scary situation Becky! I'm so sorry you were assaulted!
Thinking of you
xoxox
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
thanks guys
im actually scared to leave my room now, even though shes not here.
im so emotional i just keep crying when i think about it.
ive been assaulted twice now since ive been pregnant, once by police, once by her. maybe people are just taking advantage of the fact that im vunerable and emotional.
justin bieber being shot on csi cheered me up for a bit.
im not looking forward to the nightmares tonight.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Oh Becky, I'm so glad you're okay, and the baby.
I'm sorry that happened to you, you don't deserve that at all.
You please keep talking to the staff if you can, and explain to them how scared you are for you and your baby's safety, because that's the most important thing right now.
I'm here if you need me, lovely.
<3
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
thankyou marie x
there are staff. theyre asleep. i know theyre here in case someone needs help, but when i have woke them up before, they look so tired and i feel bad. one therapist here tonight is heavily pregnant, and i dont want to wake her up, she needs to rest. i dont know whos in which room either.
i just really feel like i cant cope. i keep bursting into tears. im messed up in the head, im going to be a single mum, i know some mums do really well on their own, but im just so messed up, what if i hurt the baby and he/she gets taken away?
my cpn said that if i keep doing risky things, like with the police the other week, then they would take it away when its born. what if they decide this is too high risk?
i dont want to kill myself, becasue it would be killing the baby too, but its so damn tempting right now
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I really think you should wake someone up and not be doing this alone. Re the heavily pregnant lady, she wouldn't be staying over if she weren't capable.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
The priority is keeping the both of you safe, and if (understandably after the trauma of the past few weeks on top of today) you feel you need some help with doing that, then you have every reason and every right to that support.
You go wake someone up, lovely, and just tell them what you've told us here.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
i woke up one of the therapists. she was very nice and reassuring and gave me lots of hugs and kisses (literally)
she is my 1-1 therapist too, so we are having a session tomorrow.
every time i have to leave my room, it take me about 30mins to work myself up to go out of my room. and thats knowing that shes not here, when i wake up from being asleep, i wont know that, so proabably wont leave my room. im genuinley scared.
im going to try and sleep before i feel shit again.
x
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I'm very proud of you for doing that, Becky.
You can get through tonight safely, I know you can.
I hope you can get some sleep, sweetheart, and that your anxiety eases really soon. You keep reminding yourself that you are safe tonight, you're not in any danger and try to get some rest.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
It takes serious stuff for them to take babies away from their mums. I've been involved in situations where that happens and trust me, it's the very last thing social services wants to do.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
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