Can I join the safe space? Sick of the extremes. Had been good the past week and a half, hadn't cut. This morning I woke up feeling crap again, it's never going to leave me is it? Cut this morning before going to work. Why do I think that this will ever change? How can I go to being fairly positive for a week and then to wake up like this and nothing having happened to have triggered it?
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Everyone has different feelings. Over time the extremes can come into more balance, and you get more able to be with and tolerate the extremes without falling into hurting yourself because of it.
It does take time and a lot of hard work, though, I know!
Usually there is something that stirs up low mood - maybe you had a dream that had an impact unconsciously, maybe you're impacted by the weather, maybe there was something that happened yesterday that is bugging you from deep down, maybe your hormones have kicked in... all kinds of possibilities.
I'm not sure if I want it to take time. Not sure how long I can manage being like this. CPN said that he had filled in a referral/questionnaire form for the psychotherapy place. Apparently they send me one in the next couple of weeks. He said that once that is sorted, I should be able to get an assessment appt quite soon. I know this is the best way forward long term but it scares me. I have been trying to re-bury things and that has helped my day-to-day mood so I am afraid of tipping the balance too far that way again. Sorry, sounds silly.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
BPD can also be called Emotion Regulation Disorder Sarey but you'd be best off asking your psychiatrist if that's what she meant because it might not be what she was getting at at all. Also, she can't diagnose you with BPD / Emotion Regulation until you are 18.
Okay I will ask her. It just seems odd she was using capital letters instead of lower case. Indicated she was saying something.
I suit BPD quite well. I can relate to practically all the symptoms.
People with BPD do have difficulties in regulating their emotion, but being told you have difficulties in regulating your emotions is not the same as a BPD diagnosis (your psych would have said it outright most likely), but it would be useful to ask her to clarify.
Has anyone here felt like they have two sides to them? Like, I feel like I'm living a double life. One part of me is the psychiatric patient who takes medication and self harms and feels vulnerable etc, and the other part of me is the person who does voluntary work and helps with the housework and cooking dinner and all the responsible stuff.
I know it's not DID because I don't space out or feel like one takes control. But they do feel separate, and I'm aware of that and what one I feel like I am at any given moment.
Just wondering if it's a BPD thing, really.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
i do, control freak. i know i am very capable. i think this is common of a lot of people with BPD. in the therapeutic community, the whole thing worked because there were sides of people who were poorly and there were sides that were well and could deal with crisis. so if two people were in crisis, say, the whole of the rest of the comm. who were relatively well would support each other to deal with it.
i guess it's good to recognise that both sides are true, even if they feel separate, they are both part of you.
I understand that controlfreak. There is the side of me who is uber-useful and competent at work and in sorting out other people's problems and there is the other side which is the real me - terrified, self harming, freak, who is scared and bored of life and wants to self destruct.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
Agreed to the max. At least yesterday I only got into minimal trouble with it.
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
People with BPD do have difficulties in regulating their emotion, but being told you have difficulties in regulating your emotions is not the same as a BPD diagnosis (your psych would have said it outright most likely), but it would be useful to ask her to clarify.
Has anyone here felt like they have two sides to them? Like, I feel like I'm living a double life. One part of me is the psychiatric patient who takes medication and self harms and feels vulnerable etc, and the other part of me is the person who does voluntary work and helps with the housework and cooking dinner and all the responsible stuff.
I know it's not DID because I don't space out or feel like one takes control. But they do feel separate, and I'm aware of that and what one I feel like I am at any given moment.
Just wondering if it's a BPD thing, really.
I feel like two people, there so many internal struggles. I've been told it can be part of BPD. I just feel constantly torn in two, like my two sides are fighting each other for the front space. The selfharming, suicidal miserable hopeless psych patient vs the responsable academic caring girl. Very irritating
~~I'm FINE...on the outside~~
~~Beneath the surface lies a shattered heart and an exhausted soul, simply longing... just longing to be whole~~
