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Do I have a problem?
My bf left me a couple of weeks ago after I sent him some really insulting texts.
But let me start from the top. Before we started dating he had warned me he would be super busy at work for the next few months. I didn't really care cause I liked him so we began our relationship. But I soon realised that not only would we see each other every tenth day on average, but a lot of our appointments would get modified or cancelled last minute. I grew anxious because I had a problem believing something would happened almost every time we had to meet. I started growing anxious and guilty because he would message me every morning and night, send me sweet texts, tell me he is fighting for the two of us (mind you, we had just started dating) and I thought I was a bad girlfriend for not understanding. I called him out on his problematic communication a few times, only to get accused of severe insecurity. I was very confused because he seemed to really like me and want his future with me, but then all these cancellations and modifications made me think he was liking the idea of us, not really us. He mentioned a few psychological issues as well, said he had to take his therapy daily and that made him even less able to communicate well. I kind of got that, but even on good days he was quite unresponsive. I had nothing to hold on to. He didn't call, we would see each other so rarely and usually he would be the one deciding the conditions of that meeting and I was getting frustrated. So when he cut another one of our message conversations short, I told him it is not polite to ignore a message. Then he told me he was having one of his episodes (mind you, our conversation ended the day before his episode, therefore it had nothing to do with that). He also told me I was the only one making him feel f**** guilty and if I wasn't the centre of his world I would stir sh** up. I felt so guilty and bad and didn't know what to do so I kind of withdrew for a bit. And then he texted me again cancelling our plans for New Year's. Mind you, I had received this type of text so many times before from him and I just lost it. He did kind of hint at the reason for why he needed to be somewhere else, but I didn't want to listen to it. I called him an idiot, a coward and a liar, I mentioned all the previous times I felt he wasn't honest with me, told him that now I did in fact want him to feel like sh**. This was all done via texts (as again, he never called). After this he accused me of verbal abuse and said he would never get back together with me. My friends tried to comfort me by saying everyone says nasty things when they are angry, but I feel absolutely awful. Like an abuser. :( Do I need to work on this? Thank you.
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