Advice Needed Please.

[DavyZGirL]

Hey there, I have been a member for quite some time (joined 2009), however I am posting this for advice as a parent. I recently found out my 15yo daughter has been SI and I don't know what to do, has anyone else been in thsi situation? I have always been open and honest about my SH journey and thought maybe this would be enough to encourage her to not do it. I have asked her what's going on to make her do this but she cant/won't give me an answer. I am going to be speaking to the school and Dr's on Monday morning. But anymore advice/suggestions would be gratefully received.

[Auror.]

while not had personal experience, this is something that's been brought up by other members in the vets section so you could definitely look at old posts about it there.

if you don't feel safe to talk to, that's okay. but would v strongly suggest bringing it up with your daughter BEFORE speaking to dr and school and getting her involvement and say in what type of support she wants or who she wants aware. if she doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about it now, getting outside involvement could make it worse and make her trust you even less if she has no say or control in the situation.

also bring up the concepts of harm reduction and proper wound care, when to know if it is an emergency, etc.. and try to help her set up a plan so if it does happen that she needs medical attention, who she can contact or go to if it's not you. make it clear that this doesn't mean she has to stop, just has to try to do so in a "safer" way.

[DavyZGirL]

Thank you for your advice I'll also have a look in the vet section you mentioned.

[Auror.]

also to be clear - get why you would want to get other people involved, especially if she's not okay talking to you about it. but very much think she needs to have some say or involvement in that process if you feel it is absolutely necessary.

if so it may have to be a conversation like, hey we need to get professionals involved whether you want to or not. you need someone safe to go to with this stuff since it isn't parents. so please let's figure out what that looks like together, who that might be, or something in that form. ask her what she is and isn't okay with (or is less not okay with than other things) and how you can make sure to advocate for her. basically just try to get her as involved as possible, and also be understanding that stopping may not be the end goal for her. so if that's something that professionals would try to force, you would need to be able to advocate for a harm management approach vs abstinence. so would be really good to get knowledgeable about that type of stuff on your own.