Last night....I dreamt I was back with my Ex, except in the dream he kept hitting me, but he didnt do that in real life...everyone thought we would last for ages..everyone liked him...but I sabotaged it because i dont deserve anything good...i deserve every cut..every scar...
and now...im alone...and have been for over a year now...and im finding it difficult...I want to feel loved....i want someone to hold me when i cry...someone to make me smile again...someone to call me baby...someone who will make me feel specail and lift me up out of the dark and....*cries*
I dont wanna be alone anymore
hugs you sweetie. You know I believe there's one person for everyone in the world, and you've just got to look for them. Eventually you'll find them sweetie. Seems like you're wanting to hurt yourself is manifesting itself in your dreams because you're not letting it? And it really does suck to be alone sweetie, but it won't be forever.
I'm sorry, I don't know how much of this makes sense. I'm slightly drunk right now.
~Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly~
*hugs* You'll find someone, sweetie. Seriously. You will find someone who will treat you like a princess. It just takes a while to find one worth having.
*snuggles Carole and Alexx*
Alexx, your mom checks your arms?!?! oh hunni that sucks
Carole what's up hun? *huggles*
Me? I'm drinking... Again. Four shots of rum down, working on some sickningly sweet liquore... Got some wine coolers maybe I'll switch to... Hmmm
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
Yeah...any time she likes....she just demands to see my arms...so i have to roll my sleeves up to the elbow...last time i said no i got a slap. But my new way works just fine.
You guys dont need this right now...but im really scared...I have all sorts of ideas..plans...I could...just take some sleeping pills....ive already taken my meds...but i want to take more....
Alexx I'm sorry your mom is being so awful about this. I made my mom cry (by refusing to talk about it) but now she respects my decision when I tell her I don't want to talk about it.
Carole, I'm sorry you're in such a spot Remember, we're all nieve at some point about some things *hugs* I wish there were more I could give you
As for me and my alcohol... *shrug* c'est la vie
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
