Personal Piece- Contains upsetting material - Suicide Poem(May Trigger)

[Out and Proud]

Tonight I will be found dead.
I need to die to feel alive.
I don’t get the point of life.
I really don’t.
I don’t want to be here anymore.
I’m sorry.
I just, I can’t take this anymore.
The human species and the drama in life and the imposed
normality of society, I just hate it all.
Everyone’s so fake here and it’s something I don’t want to
be a part of.
I’m sorry everyone, don’t take it personally.
I’m going to keep this short cause there’s no use in writing
a novel.
This was my decision and I don’t want you to be hurt by it.
Just please try to understand this is what I needed, this is
what I wanted, this is what I choose.
Think of me as selfish, think of me as stupid, judge me, I
know you all will. Part of me wishes you wouldn’t but I know
better.
Hate me if it makes you feel better. Forget me if it gets
rid of the tears.
Just understand that none of you ever understood me, not one
of you.
There was only two people who ever did. One betrayed me, she
know who she is. And the other, well he was just busy.
And if you ask why I didn’t turn to any of you for help when
I needed to talk, it was because you were never there and
when you were you were oblivious to just how bad I was
hurting. I helped all of you with your problems. I always
did everything I could to help you out, to keep you going,
to make you see things would get better.
So where were you guys when I needed that?
Where the **** were you? Huh?
Not to be bitter about it, but you just don’t get how bad that hurts.
Anyway, this world is a ruthless cold place that only gets worse.
I hurt people
People hurt me
It’s a vicious cycle of the world that I no longer wish to
be apart of.
Not to mention the fact I can’t stand myself anymore which also farther fuels my decision to die.
I wish things were different; but seeing as how they cannot be, I am done.
Please; if you don’t believe anything, anything at all, just
believe me when I say I’m sorry.
Cause I really am.

[Kibou]

I really hope this was just a way to express how you are feeling, and isn't an actual suicide note...stay strong xx

[Out and Proud]

i have contmplated using it as a suicide note quite a few times but its just meant to be a poem

[nowhereman]

Hey it's me again. I actually just wrote a suicide poem today (it's in my thread) I'm not planning suicide, though I had been thinking of it, but it was a way to get it all out and I hope it helped you to write it out too. I hope this will never be your suicide note. I wish I could just give you the biggest hug right now. Also, I have to mention, I see you are in Germany. I actually have a German lyric tattooed on my wrist, Spring Nicht (don't jump) it reminds me when I feel suicidal that there are people who want me alive. Well I want you alive, ok.

[Out and Proud]

okay and tokio hotel is a great band :)

[nowhereman]

They are the best band, I love them so much and Bill will be my husband one day.

[Out and Proud]

nein!! he will be mine! :P

[nowhereman]

He is a fine thing! I shall fight you for him..;)

[Out and Proud]

deal :)