And yes! He is! Camden. Sorry forgot to tell you. He's scoffing he's food now and he's poop is solid af (sorry non dog owners) now. He's a healthy boy. We're so very happy.
Hi guys, how do I get over flashbacks from the incident as I get them occasional, makes me squirm when I do, and the dread. Things are good but just need to know as when I had another trauma a few years ago I had to block it out and forget about it but then Pandora's box opened and i made an attempt and that trauma became forefront of my mental health. I don't want to block it out like I did previously as obviously I know now what happens when I do.
Do you have access to any counselling/therapy? If not could you ask someone from your team to refer you or suggest any options that might be available to you? Sounds like talking it through with a professional could really help you get through this. It's been a really tough year for you.
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
I'm on the waiting list for the first trauma and that's been nearly 3 years on the list. Dunno what to do. My cpn is changing once again which doesn't really bother me even tho she was excellent, just means that I don't know who to contact in the time being. I tried calling her but she didn't call back so stuck.
Duty was good but told me she'd write down all the concerns and pass it onto new CPN which she did.
She talked about therapy again but with the waiting list there's nothing she can do. In the mean time I was told hopefully I can get some basic talking therapy.
I'm yet to physically meet CPN, but she's coming Wednesday for my depot. Already she had sorted out a lot for me. Being broke and not being able to handle my finances has got my down but I'm due to speak to someone in the team about it Wednesday also.
But in the mean time my new CPN has arranged for a donated food box to come to mine which it has and I'm so fucking grateful cause now the dog and I have food and essentials which is fucking terrific as my finances are dire. But my dad has been working on a budget spreadsheet as he's all about that. Organisation. So I know my, in and outgoing and when not to spend.
Im nearly thirty and it's come to this and to make things ten times worse my friend came over the other day we did class A drugs for a bit. Legit didn't think it was going to affect me badly and to be fair it didn't it but if I continued to, as was planned today, I'd be disappointing, embarrassing and ruining my family relationship and all what i've made for myself. So. I stopped it. Thank fuck for that.
Because last time that happened, the next day, well, imagine a very soft grape being dropped of the shard. Sorry but splat. Lol.
I'm still recovering from previous splat. And I don't need anymore of that ever again.
Things are good tho but I have challenging moments and days
Didn't mean to write this much. Bit of an update I suppose.
Glad the new CPN and your dad are helping you figure stuff out. And that you were able to get some food. I'm sure it's really hard to keep asking for help, but well done.
Re the drug things, that sounds really scary. Can you get rid of any that's left if you still have it? Also just wondering if this friend is uh.... really that great of a friend? I cannot imagine knowing what happened to you and still bringing a drugs over! That's awful.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I know. Never again.
And told him numerous times I did not want to do it because of last time but he always talks me into it. It's my fault also for just agreeing and even suggesting it. Yes sometimes it was my idea.
Tbh I don't think we're góod match, I seem to get into trouble when he comes round. So I'll have to nip it in the bud
I’m so sorry that happened with the drugs - this guy doesn’t really sound like much of a friend, if that’s not too harsh. We want you to stay a whole grape from now on, k?
Glad your CPN and dad are helping with the money stuff, it can be an absolute nightmare, can’t it?
Hope they get you at least some basic therapy while you’re on the stupid waiting list.
Rooting for you.
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
