Pain being worse is because I am having less non epileptic seizures and there is pattern when that happens that I get more muscular symptoms and pain before then both settle down. (although sometimes pain triggers seizures).
Have some strategies to help manage pain such as physio exercises but can be hard to find energy to do the things that help. Not sleeping well at the moment took until 6 am to get to sleep last night
That sounds unfair. But I hope no seizures are triggered and both things can settle down. Is it the pain that makes sleeping difficult or something else?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Pain is part of what makes sleeping difficult. But also been struggling with physical anxiety some nights when had no pain. And when I have lot of negative thoughts filling my mind that doesn't help with settling to sleep which happens as a response to pain or anxiety.
It is hard when you're trying to sleep because there is so much less stimulation and you're left with thoughts etc. Do you ever have anything on in the background? Or would it help to set some time before bed to write down the things that are on your mind?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I generally listen to music or a podcast or an audiobook. And sometimes I RV before bed if there is a lot on my mind.
I called GP surgery today and ended up speaking to duty GP about my mental health specifically suicidal thoughts and being more low. Unfortunately he wasnt very helpful / I didn't feel heard. He was focused on support worker I am meant to be getting from local charity so said he would write to CMHT to chase / get contact details. I tried to explain thoughts but not sure I conveyed the seriousness of them, he just said to call First Response crisis team if they get worse. I am pretty much maxed out on meds so he can't increase them (which I knew) And to make a routine appointment to speak to my named GP.
I really tried to talk it through so I think it was partly him trying to hurry things along. But when he asked what the thoughts were telling me I do I could have been more explicit about methods etc. I have been considering instead I explained that sometimes they are einteusive thoughts and sometimes mine but didn't go back to methods.
I don't know just felt a bit of a waste of time. Took a lot of courage to reach out as well and although I didn't know what they could do I guess didn't expect to feel dismissed. Appointment with my named GP is in 4 weeks time.
I talked to first response crisis team last night. See RV for details.
But they are more for getting through the crisis moment, rather than fully talking things through. I wanted to try and get some advice / work out how to help me go from surviving to living. And to explain exactly how things have got worse to maybe poke CMHT (suicidal thoughts, sleep pattern, personal hygiene, appetite, really really low etc.)
They did suggest asking GP for something to help me sleep as my sleep has been bad generally nkt getting ti sleep until 4-6am in the morning. But I am not a fan of stuff like that which makes me feel woozy.
Hit my head having a seizure this afternoon so been napping/ resting since the. Don't think it's as bad a hit as last few times but shall see how it goes. Have iced it and taken some paracetamol
Crisis teams have their place but I do agree that you need different support to help you move forward. Have you heard anything about the support worker yet? I hope your head isn't too bad.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Partner called 111 last night as he was concerned about head injury symptoms. 11 called 999. Ambulance were really busy so didn't come for 4 hours but when they came at 3am paramedic decided I needed to go to hospital. Doctor at hospital assessed me and discharged me with advice on things to look out for. Got home about 8am and slept for 6 hours. My head really hurts.
Mentally finding things hard after a rough week physically. Been triggered by having to go to the hospital twice in last two days: A&E Thursday night and an emergency outpatient appointment yesterday morning. Test results were reassuring and it's likely just concussion with added symptoms from FND. But hospital is hard place for me to be and brought up a lot of tricky emotions and caused some flashbacks.
Also think the first concussion might be partly responsible for my extra low mood over last few weeks. Hit my head on 1st March which is around when things got extra hard.
In good news after my OT chased the mental health trust through her contact I got a text from charity I had been referred to by CMHT in January confirming I am registered with them and on the waiting list for a recovery practioner / support worker person. Doesn't say how long waiting times are but did give me an email address where I can contact them for email based support although it sonly monitored between 10am and 4pm on Tuesdays which is weirdly specific.
I guess it's kind of reassuring to have a reason for your low mood that can hopefully be overcome (the head stuff). Please be kind and gentle with yourself as you are going through a lot and it's not your fault. How do you normally cope with flashbacks etc? I hope you can stay away from hospital for a while at least. I'm so glad you are on a waiting list and can have email contact with them. I hope the waiting time isn't too long and if you email they are helpful.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I mean it's not the only reason I have been low but it's likely part of it especially the times I have been low and haven't really had a reason in the last month. Concussion can take up to 6 weeks to heal and most recent one was on 26th March so by beginning of May whatever part is head injury related should have passed. Will try and remind myself it could be contributing when I am low and that it should reduce if it is part of it.
I am trying to be kind to myself, very frustrated though.
Flashbacks when actively having one try and reorientate myself in the present moment using a flashback protocol, grounding, breathing exercises or a combination of all 3. Does help sometimes.
I tried to call the local charity crisis helpline where I know the workers and they know me so I wouldn't have to explain whole story again. But the call was forwarded to their branch in another town and I didn't know the guy who answered so I hung up.
Haven't read any manga since I started getting more visual symptoms Wednesday night. They have reduced today hence being online a bit more but still trying to minimise reading. Been online reading things a bit too much today it seems because my eyes hurt and are more out of focus. So I guess I will try and rest. Don't feel particularly restful though.
It's hard when you can't get through to someone who knows you. Do you know what kind of support would be provided by emailing the support worker? Will it be different people who respond or one person who would be assigned to you? Maybe that would be a way to let them get to know you while you're on the waiting list. If you don't feel restful could you at least just close your eyes for a bit and listen to some music or something? Do your eyes improve a bit once you've rested and then you could do more visual stuff?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I managed to call back and get someone who knows me. Cried and let out a lot of emotion. I don't necessarily feel good, still feel very low but less distressed /agitated maybw. Crying was pretty overwhelming though and I felt find it makes me feel very vulnerable. Guess because when I was younger crying wasn't always safe.
I know no details about support email inbox.
I did lie down listening to music for like half an hour
And then spent a bit of time with my partner just sitting and being held. Where I cried a bit but couldn't talk to him about why so he suggested calling place I just got off the phone with.
Eyes are better once I have rested a bit. Might try and watch something as it seems a little easier than reading.
I'm glad you managed to speak to someone and spend some quiet time with your partner. Helplines don't make things completely better but I think it is a good thing to talk things through with someone. I hope you have a better day today.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
