Trying to help my girlfriend

[rjacked]

My girlfriend self harmed several years ago, before I knew her, but she stopped - she says she realised it was getting out of control. But she told me very recently that she did it again a few days ago because of exam results and other stuff. The thing is, it's not like she got bad results - she got almost all as, but she seems to only be able to focus on the 2 a stars (apparently too few) and 2 bs she got. I've tried to help her, but all i can really do is tell her i love her and listen to her - anything else just doesnt seem to go in. I really want to do something more for her, and i get the feeling that telling me was a big step. Can anyone help think of anything more i can do for her? I'd really appreciate any ideas.
Thanks.

[Kame]

Aww, it's sweet how much you want to do for her, it really is. Just by wanting to do something more for her is fantastic. Telling her you love her and listening to her is pretty much all you can do.
Just some advice, from a girl with a boyfriend who's had to go through what you're going through, even if she does slip up with her cutting, you need to be supportive. I understand it must be hard when she does, my boyfriend hates it when I do, but you've gotta understand how hard it is for her too. All it takes is for you to be patient and as understanding as you can, and from what you've said so far, you're doing a good job of it.
It's really nice to see you wanting to do so much for her, which is why I had to reply.
Take care of yourself, as well as your girlfriend,
Lanny xx =)

[lonely_wreckage]

Other than being there and hugging and listening there isnt much else you can do. My boyfriend always asks the same and wants to do more but honestly just being there for her, reassure her that no matter what that you will love her and that you wil be ther is about all you can do.

Sorry I havent said anything of much use but based on my personal experiences all you can do is be there for her when she needs you. What you are doing is amazing-it might not seem like much to you and i know you want to do more- but someone listening, and caring is such a big thing.

Hope that makes sense

[rjacked]

Thanks guys, i'll do that. I just thought i should check, but i'll make sure i'm there for her now :)

yeah i happen to be just like your girlfriend. i know i must drive my bf completely insane... i know it's hard to understand from someone else's point of view, but for some people (like me), perfection is everything. i've put all my importance in school, cause at one time i felt it was all i had. so if i get a b, i'm not good enough in the area that matters the most to me. not healthy, but it's how i look at it. so that may be where she's coming from, or she may be under pressure from parents or someone else to get all a's. or she may be like me and have ocd, which also contributes to perfectionism thinking and being obsessed with things (it's not just cleaning).

i think the best thing you can do for her is listen to her. if you freak out over the fact that she cut, she won't tell you that she cut anymore. like i tend to not really tell my boyfriend when i cut, cause it worries him really really bad. the thing is if she's cutting a little, she's probably not in that much danger. she could use a counselor though. if she's doing it all the time, that's another thing. and if she starts talking about suicide or anything, i'd definitely tell her to seek help if she hasn't already.

i would like to hear what you have to say about how it feels to be on your side, cause you seem to be in nearly the exact situation as my boyfriend, and i never know how things will affect him. so if you ever want to pm me and ask me stuff you definitely can.