Is there something in particular that brought on the relapses? For me, what's triggered me to get back into self harming after a few months of not harming is all the stress, anxiety, and pressure associated with college. Do you know what's helped bring it on? Maybe if you do, you can figure out ways to more effectively cope with it using more positive coping mechanisms. No matter what, your relapse doesn't take away from your seven years clean. You still have that victory, no matter what!
Is there anything that really helped you during those years, helped you to not self harm? Like a particular distraction, hobby, or activity that might help you get through it? What i do on a daily basis is keeping on top of assignments/responsibilities with a planner and always leaving time to myself at the end of the day to write or listen to music. Staying on top of things and always leaving time for fun things like writing a story i'm working on, having lunch with a friend, etc really helps me handle things better. Another thing that helps me in the heat of the moment is to take a breather if i start to get too stressed out. If things get really bad and i cant handle the stress and anxiety, i'll usually go hang out with a friend - either go out ot lunch or just study with them so i'm not alone. If i can't hang out with anyone, i'll usually distract myself by throwing myself into whatever task i have at hand and telling myself that i cant harm right now because i need to finish this first. By the time the task - homework, dishes, cleaning, etc, - is done ive vented some of that anxious, desperate energy and its easier to simply distract myself instead of needing to actively fight the urge. I find talking to people helps - be it people on here, people on a blog, or friends of mine. If you have someone you feel comfortable reaching out to - either a friend or family member or such in real life, or even someone on here or elsewhere on teh internet - i would suggest it. Sometimes they might not always be able to understand what your going through, but they care and can at least provide some good support and advice.
So yeah thats all that i have to say. Sorry its so long winded! Not sure if this helps much. Eitherways, congrats on going so long without harming! You did it once, you can do it again. Trust me. I believe in you! =)
Keep running!
~ Kari
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