I had my first meeting with my psychologist this morning in about a month. It was my 5th session since September. Same old same old.. I go in and talk about what's been happening in the past month, and how I feel about everything. and she asks questions and takes notes (although when she found out I had SI in that past month she wanted another appointment next week, which is different!)
It's my first psychologist so I don't really know if they're all the same or anything. Like when I first went I was kind of expecting some feedback or her to give me some answers. She has helped with my SI and dealing with it, but I still feel lost. I was expecting her to tell me things about myself or why I am the way I am and why do I think the way I do and help me find myself. She takes notes and I just want to ask what are you writing down?
Are psychologists meant to analyse you and tell you things about yourself? Or explain how your mind is actually working? I'm just feeling confused and stressed and frustrated and lonely.. I don't understand myself..
Often at the beginning of a set of sessions with a psychologist, they like to get to know you, the way you think, act or perceive things etc to begin with. Taking notes is so they can go back to things you've spoken in previous sessions without having to remember everything.
I don't think your psychologist is going to sit there and answer questions for you or tell you about yourself and why you think the way you do simply because it's impossible for anyone to know you and your mind better than you do. Often what they do is facilitate in you analysing yourself. Often they help you uncover things about yourself or relay what you're saying in a different light to help you come to some conclusions.
Personally I think it's better to work with a psychologist rather than be lead by one. It's really quite fulfilling when you come to some sort of realisation about your own thoughts or behaviours as you still feel in control of yourself. Often the therapist prompts and coaxes answers from places you may not have looked before.
Sophie.x
Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!
it is fair to let her know that you are uncomfortable with the way she is taking notes, and maybe talk through that so that you can feel more comfortable.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
stopping SI is something that is definitely something where the psych is more of an advisor and teacher, and you are the one that has to do the work when you're at home.
with understanding yourself, true understanding is something that you have to develop yourself. it might be nice if she was able to tell you about yourself... but it really might be irritating too. i mean, most people don't like it when others think they understand them better than they do themselves. think about the times that a parent or teacher has said "oh, you love math" or whatever, and you've totally hated it, and felt like "who are you to tell me what i love?!" ... and the psych is human too, and therefore fallible. you get much more out of it if you develop your own understanding of who you are...
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I couldn't agree more with what has already been said. Therapists can't explain you to yourself because at the end of the day, you are you and you know what it's like to live in your skin. For the first few session, a therapist is really just getting to know you so it may take a few more times before more feedback is given. Regarding the notes, if it makes you uncomfortable, you should say something. Clients ALWAYS have the right to see the notes that are written about them. And I agree with the above comment, the writing is probably just the names of people you have been talking about. For example, if you said "Yeah, this boy at school, John, I can't stand him" the therapist may write "John-school-negative" or something like that. A therapist really tries to point out themes that you may not have realized are happening. I guess an example would be, "I notice that every time you talk to your mother on the phone you hurt yourself afterwards." They can be really helpful pointing out stuff like that. Being more direct with you is a good thing too as long as it's in small doses. Think of it this way, if your therapist told you exactly how to stop SH, they are (1) assuming what would work for them would work for you and (2) not letting you find the answer, and if you never found the answer on your own with some side help how would you be able to never harm again once therapy was over? I think you should give it some more time and if after a few more sessions you still feel like she is not engaged in what you're saying or willing to give some form of feedback then it is time to say something or choose another therapist. I hope things get better for you!
I personally don't think it's not for a Psychologist to tell you who you are etc, but more that they lead you to finding out the reasons for example your SI on your own.
Therefore you learn...at least that's what I find in my sessions. I get lead to answers and I end up answering my own questions...it's a weird feeling, but it's a good one. (:
'Coincidence...it's what the Universe does for...fun.'
The Doctor
I had a therapist once who insisted on telling me that he knew, based on all the others he sees, what I feel and why etc etc.
Before I saw him I thought that was what they did to help you, and that it would help me. It was very confusing and ultimately very harmful for me. So I know where you are coming from with that.
