Trying to manage mental health with minimal support.

[Luna] · 04-09-2017, 08:47 PM

I need some help.
I'm feeling really stressed out, worn out, isolated and unsupported.
I don't want to make out that I don't have anyone because I have my wife and a friend I can talk to. A lot of avenues that were available to me feel shut off and people that were close seemed to have distanced and disappeared. I don't have much mental health support other than a support worker who doesn't provide much in terms of advice or guidance. Just sympathetic noises and telling me how important it is to keep well.

Things are pretty stressful at the moment. It always feels like there's so much to manage. It's so difficult to keep on top of life and keep my head above water. I keep feeling like I'm about to drown.

Some support would be good.

Sketchy · 04-09-2017, 11:23 PM

Is there anything that you can think of that will help? What kind of support are you looking for? Maybe asking for help would be an idea, such as seeing gp, or asking the support worker what you feel would help.

I'm sorry you are feeling so isolated. I can truly sympathise with you because I know how lonely it can all be. You aren't alone here though. Would writing here help?

[Luna] · 05-09-2017, 10:40 AM

I haven't been sleeping well for quite a while due to nightmares and flashbacks at night. Some nights I see demons in my room, watching me and my wife. They really scare me. I told my support worker about how much I'm struggling to sleep but she said there wasn't really anything she can do.

I've been struggling with memories, voices and dissociation and not really getting any help with any of it. I've been having a therapist/friend doing therapy with me. We've been in very regular contact for about two years but the last couple of months he suddenly stopped contacting as much and any responses to my texts have been brief. I feel kind of lost and confused and slight abandoned.

I've been having problems with uni. A few weeks ago I was accused of plagiarism in my last assignment. Apparently some of my essay was too close to the OU textbooks. They acknowledged it was unintentional but I was still given a formal warning and my assignment has yet to receive a mark.

I decided for various reasons that I didn't want to continue studying but didn't want all my work to be for nothing so I applied to have my credits transferred to a Diploma of higher education. At first the university said I was eligible for this and that I could accept the qualification within 24 hours, but when there was a problem with this I phoned the uni and they said they had made a mistake and I can only get the qualification if I pass my last module otherwise I would need to do another module to make up the credits. The module would be just under £3000 which I don't have and I don't qualify for one of their loans anymore because of my wife's bankruptcy. Plus, I don't know if I'd be able to manage studying with a new born baby.

There's also feelings of loneliness, problems with my step son and anxiety about starting back at work. I feel I've rambled on enough though.

Thanks to anyone who has read this <3

Sketchy · 05-09-2017, 11:21 AM

That's a lot to deal with and it's no wonder you are stressed.

Could you see a doctor about the distressing symptoms you've been having? Maybe there is something that can be done to help. Perhaps they can refer you to speak to someone. You could ask them, if you think talking would be beneficial.

Have you spoken to your wife about this? Just talking can be helpful. Obviously keep talking here too. I might not have advice at times, but I will listen.

Harbour · 08-09-2017, 07:21 AM

You've got so much on your plate <3.

I know I've said this a gazillion times, but if you ever wanted help pushing for more support then I could help <3.

I remember before when you saw demons were watching you you used an eye mask and that worked quite well - could you wear that for sleeping?

Is it possible you could go back to sun group, or were you not finding that effective anymore? It could just be worth it in terms of seeing people that get what you're going through.

The OU are complete wombats. I don't know what else could be done about them :(.

You're doing so well despite carrying so much, really proud of you.

[Luna] · 08-09-2017, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sketchy

That's a lot to deal with and it's no wonder you are stressed.

Could you see a doctor about the distressing symptoms you've been having? Maybe there is something that can be done to help. Perhaps they can refer you to speak to someone. You could ask them, if you think talking would be beneficial.

Have you spoken to your wife about this? Just talking can be helpful. Obviously keep talking here too. I might not have advice at times, but I will listen.

Thank you <3

The GP's just medicate you or call the mental health team. The mental health team say they can't help because they can't give me appropriate medication because I'm Pregnant. My wife knows I struggle to sleep because she often has to wake me up or calm me down from nightmares/flashbacks.

Writing here helps so thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harbour

You've got so much on your plate <3.

I know I've said this a gazillion times, but if you ever wanted help pushing for more support then I could help <3.

I remember before when you saw demons were watching you you used an eye mask and that worked quite well - could you wear that for sleeping?

Is it possible you could go back to sun group, or were you not finding that effective anymore? It could just be worth it in terms of seeing people that get what you're going through.

The OU are complete wombats. I don't know what else could be done about them :(.

You're doing so well despite carrying so much, really proud of you.

Thank you lovely <3

I honestly don't have the energy for the mental health services anymore. I'm tired of fighting them for everything. I don't have the energy to start again with someone else. Thank you for being willing to fight for me though darling, I appreciate it.

The mask is good idea, I'll give it a try.

I'm deliberately staying away from the SUN group because there's been a lot of drama between members and they kept trying to drag me into the middle of it which was affecting my mental health. I'd be told so many things that it's kind of worn away my trust for any of them and so it doesn't feel like a place I can go and get support anymore. I just feel paranoid there.

Today has been difficult. P came to see me to do some therapy (after 2 months of little contact!). From what I remember it was going ok until he pushed me to talk about something and I dissociated. I don't remember a lot of what happened other than locking myself in the bathroom because I was really scared I was going to hurt him and he wasn't safe. I was too scared to come out until my wife came home and threatened to break the door down because she was scared I had or was going to hurt myself. She manage to convince me to come and calmed me down.

I feel really rough and drained now though.

P did text me later to say he was sorry, he shouldn't have pushed me and it was his fault I got into such a state. I'm sad the day ended that way.

Buttons. · 08-09-2017, 09:53 PM

No really useful words but love hugs and all that fluff.

Pi.R^2 · 10-09-2017, 08:05 PM

I'm glad it has helped to write things out here. I'm sorry to hear there's been so much drama with the SUN group; that's not what you need at all and it sounds like the right idea to get some space from it for a bit.

What would you say is causing you the most issues right now/that you feel unsupported with?

In random news, I saw something on pinterest today that gave me an A+ idea for a little baby present to make for you =D