always mess it up! *possible trigger*

[x-dying-inside-x]

So after nearly 3yrs self harm free I go and throw it all down the drain! After nearly 3 yrs of hard work it's all gone within a few weeks. I've started hurting myself a few weeks ago and cant seem to stop.

I don't know what to do and I don't know who to turn to :'(
If I tell anyone it could mean I loss everything. I feel so lost and confused.

[Charmed]

Hi there,

Firstly well done for going 3 years free, that is amazing and you should be so proud of yourself. Try not to feel to guilty about slipping up, it's okay, most people have a relapse while trying to recover from self harm.

You have stopped before and you can stop again. Do youu know what lead you to start self harming again?

I knwo telling someone is scary, but it could really helpful to talk to someone about what is going on, would you like to talk about what is going on for you?

[x-dying-inside-x]

I've got a feeling it's just the stress of everything I can't cope really. There is so much going on with uni, placement and my health I just can't cope anymore.

I would love to talk to the people around me but there is so much at risk I just cant talk to anyone right now.

[Charmed]

Have you looked into therapy at uni? Often uni's offer therapy sessions in which you can have for free that no one needs to know about, it sounds like it might help you at the moment.

What is at risk if you talk to people?

[x-dying-inside-x]

I have but then I run the risk of them saying im not fit to do my course and letting my course leader know that they feel that, ive had this problem before.

If uni feel im not fit to do my course then they can kick me out :(

[Lone Star]

Do you have any friend that you can trust, or whom your bond with wouldn't be affected by a situation like this?

Perhaps that would be the way to go.

[x-dying-inside-x]

I spoke to someone at uni about it and was quite surprised with the reaction.
Looks like they are going to help me! Just wish I could be 100% honest about everything that's gone on and the self-harming and how bad it is.