Triggering (SI) - Can i still do this...why was i left here to do this...?

[<3KEMZY<3]

hi all...

for all those who know me...and what i have been through then you'll no why i'm asking these questions.

i'm finding it so incrediblly hard to do this now...when my parents died last september and left me with my gorgeous little sister Kayleigh who is now 10 months old, i thought yeah i have to stop all this si and stuff i need to grow up and be a mum to this little girl.

but i guess it's taken it's toll on me, i go to school and find it very hard to cope with it all because i simpley dont have my mum and dad to come home to and talk to. yeah i get help from others ... but i find it so hard to talk to them about what im doing to myself.

i really thought i could cope with this and thought because of the situation i would beable to stop SH but i can't and i'm getting worse and i don't want to do this anymore...it hurts me to see what i'm doing to myself and then to look at a gorgeous baby...

please help me i just see myself as such a bad person and such a wreck i really don't no what to do anymore...i feel like giving up..


much love <3KEMZT<3

[charcoal feathers]

You're not a bad person, it must take a lot to do what you do. It's not easy looking after a baby, especially after what you've been through.

I've recently had a baby, and i said i'd never hurt myself again. but it's happened on a few occasion since and she's only 4weeks old. I feel guilty when i look at her, i feel like a bad mum because of it.

The thing is, just because you hurt yourself doesn't make you a bad person. It's the only way you know how to cope, how to deal with things. And that's what needs to change, you need to try and find a new way to deal with things.

Are you having any kind of counselling or anything at the moment? Receiving any kind of help for it? because maybe that'll be an option. It's hard to stop SI alone, without any help.

Hang in there, yeah, you can get through this.

Take care x

[<3KEMZY<3]

i knew there would be someone out there who understood


congratulations on the baby


i do get help but im scared to open up to much


and im so scared of loosing kayleigh

hope things are ok for you

im struggling really bad at this moment in time


im scared.......

take care hun and all the rest of you xoxox

[x-Silvermist-x]

I don't know the full story but from reading your OP my heart really goes out to you. I can't begin to imagine what it is like for you. However, I just wanted to say believe in yourself and that you're obviously a much stronger person than you think. If you feel you aren't coping with things please don't be afraid to ask for help. I'm sure people will be only too happy to assist.

[rainb0w.sparkl3s]

heya

Having a baby to look after is not an easy job at all. Especially at a young age. i know that. Dont be afraid to open up and ask for help. Your in no way physically harming your little sister so it really shouldnt be a problem. People will be willing to help you if your willing to help yourself. It'll be scary at first but it will get easier as time goes on and you'll be able to be an amazing sister/mum to your sister.

Email or Add me if you wanna talk :)

[tears before bedtime]

I am so sorry for your loss i wish i could make it all better for you i really do. i don't think i could say anymore than what everyone else has already said, but i want you to know that you are not alone we are all here for you, don't hesitate to Pm me or ask for my msn i will be happy to talk to you.
Take care sweetheart xxx

[chickdrummer13]

First of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your parents. I can't say that I know how you feel, but I do know that you can make it through this. I somewhat understand your feelings about wanting to stop for your sister because I have a cousin who is my world. When she was like 2, I was really suicidal and cutting a lot. I realized that I couldn't do this and be a good influence/role model for her. Of course, I've slipped up plenty since then, but you've just got to push through it all.

Can you find a counselor or somebody to talk to? I know a lot of people hate that idea, but I think that it could be really beneficial since it sounds like you don't really have anybody to talk to. I don't know if you're a religious person, but I also suggest leaning on God. Honestly, He's gotten me through soooo much that I couldn't have otherwise made it through. If you aren't religious or don't believe in God, I strongly urge you to consider it.

I know you can do it! Feel free to PM me if you need anything.

[<3KEMZY<3]

thanx for all ur comments really helps me...just cause im struggling dont hesitat to ask for my msn ok or pm xxx

[Rough_Diamond]

Skye Guess What ... I Love You .xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx