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23-04-2008, 05:11 AM
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#1
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: London
I am currently:  
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Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - wierd?
I was lying in bed the other day with my girlfriend and she rolled over to whisper in my ear. I must have been half asleep or something because I started screaming for her to get off me. My ears are really sensitive. I was abused for 6 years and he always whispered in my ears. I can't even let people touch them now.
I don;t know why I made such a big deal out of it it just made me sorta jump. Now she thinks I dont love her or trust her or something. I do it's just something im still trying to get over. Alot of people think its wierd because they are just ears but I clean them out like twice a day because they feel dirty. Full of dirty words.
I dont want her to touch my ears or whisper to me. Then she might know how dirty I am. All the bad words that are stuck in my ears and if I let her get too close she might find out how discusing I am. I do love her.
Am I making this into a big deal. Should I just 'get over it'?
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Lives, like money, are spent. What are you buying with yours?
Adopted by: fitofdestiny :D
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23-04-2008, 06:46 AM
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#2
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Even flowers need rain...
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Pennsylvania USA
I am currently: 
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*hugs* I love you honey. Everything will be alright once you explain it to her.
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"I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night wanting, but still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing, I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen." -Sandra Bullock, Practical Magic
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23-04-2008, 02:33 PM
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#3
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coimeádaí rún
Join Date: Jan 2006
I am currently: 
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Abuse is a big deal, one that I don't think we can "just get over". It takes time to work through the hurt that we're left with from abuse. And we're not made dirty from the abuse, I promise you, it's the people who abuse us who are terrible people.
Have you ever though about telling your girlfriend what happened? Maybe explain a little of why you reacted that way; I'm sure she'd be understanding.
Take care xx
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For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
~ We're marching on... ~
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25-04-2008, 05:12 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Mar 2004
I am currently: 
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i understand this hun. if you ever wanted to talk, you can mssg me xx
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