Guess ill say my names mat and I'm an alcoholic addict. I prefer not alcohol stuff but just as easy as it is, sold everywhere. That's its becoming my drug of choice. I've abused just about everything. Haven't touched meth or ketamine. I'm sure if I had access to it I would probably do ketamine.. ain't gonna lie. Once when I was. Boy.. i said I wouldn't touch heroin. Same with crack. But I have. I even know how to cook crack. I'm trying to change though.
*waves shyly* I'm Kate, and I'm not so sure whether I'm an addict or not...reading through this thread, I've come to the realisation that I most probably am :( Can I have some hugs? xx
I'm having serious trouble stopping my medication misuse :( I've tried, but the pills are the only thing that make me feel better. But I think my body's getting used to them, so I end up having to take more and more and more...and it's making me really sick :( The painkillers stop it, but then I have to take more of them too. I really don't know what to do. I can't tell anyone, because they'll think I'm stupid :(
I'm Ileana and I'm an addict. I was clean for four months and recently relapsed.
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
It's a personality trait, it's built into you from a young age. You are born and addict and you die an addict. You may be clean from substance abuse but you will probably never stop being addicted to things. Even trivial things. It sucks but it appears it is true, 'once an addict, always an addict'.
In Psychology we learnt that addiction is a escapism; a way of escaping problems in your life, I agree with this but then there are some psychologists that say that an addiction is a 'choice'. I thought about it for a long time and I think I agree with this, you choose to take another pill or have another drink, you choose to revert back to the addiction in times of need. This implies we have control over our addictions and in the height of mine I would disagree with what I'm saying, but now, almost 'clean', I see it's true. I could have stopped if I wanted to but I didn't. I choose to continue taking the pills. I told myself I couldn't live without them so I didn't.
Addictions may be a coping mechanism but you have to choose to start them, you could easily use exercise or something healthy to help you cope with stresses etc but we choose unhealthy substances and continued to use them because we believed they were the only thing that worked.
I hope I haven't offended anyone, I'm just voicing my opinion. Feel free to disagree.
I really appreciate how you've articluated this.
Thank you.
I recognize that almost everything I do to excess is one form or another of substituting said escapsim. And they are almost always my own judgement of a 'lesser evil'. I really appreciate the studies I've read about harm reduction
(the Icarus Project has a guide to coming off psych meds, that applies to a lot of different aspects of my life and my own use of 'harm reduction'... check it out sometime if you're ever interested, even if you're not coming off psych meds it's still really an interesting look at withdrawal in general: http://theicarusproject.net/HarmRedu...OffPsychDrugs/)
Funny though.. How my ideas of lesser evils are sometimes more destructive than others. Sure, I'm not doing heroin to feel nothing, but I'll drink my liver half to death some days because it's legal and I'm not going to go to jail for it. And then I wind up nicking arteries and well.... I don't remember doing any of that when I was high out of my mind for years. Well, not much of it anyway. Sigh.. I don't know where this ramble is going.
Anyway.. I didn't even know this part of the forum was here. And here I was thinking I was the only one, again. It's funny, no matter how alone I feel sometimes, it still dazzles me when I realize that good lord, no I'm ****ing not, at all.
I'm not sure if I am an 'addict.' I can go for 4/5 days getting up, eating healthily, going to the gym, swimming, and living my life normally.
But if I get invited out to the pub, or to a party, I refuse to go out if I don't have Mcat/MDMA/Speed. Simply because alcohol just makes me depressed, tired and boring. But I just feel so gross the next few days.
Don't know if I want to stop though, plus it keeps my weight down and I hate fat people.
Hey, my name is Michelle and I'm a grateful recovering addict.
My clean date is 9/24/10..so I'm almost 2 years clean.
When I say clean and that I'm an addict, that means all inclusive...alcohol IS a drug and it's my drug of choice, but not the only.
I must abstain from all drugs in order to recover.
As for si, I'm nearly 30 days free. It's harder than anything else for me to stay stopped.
I've read some posts of people who said they weren't sure if they're addicts or not. Here's a reading from Narcotics Anonymous (NA), of which is my personal 12 step program:
Who Is An Addict?
Most of us do not have to think twice about this question.
We know! Our whole life and thinking was centered in drugs
in one form or another—the getting and using and finding
ways and means to get more. We lived to use and used
to live. Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose
life is controlled by drugs. We are people in the grip of a
continuing and progressive illness whose ends are always
the same: jails, institutions, and death.
I'm not sure if I can post much about NA here bc of the RYL rules, but if you'd like to know more, you're more than welcome to pm me anytime. :)
Thanks for letting me share.
Falling apart and all I'm asking... ...Is this the truth or am I overreacting?
my name is jack but everyone calls me nims. im a recovering addict/alcoholic.
im 15 days clean and sober today after a recent relapse. I get 2 or more meetings everyday and am looking into getting a sponsor.
I'm Piano. Recovering I guess. once an addict always an addict, right?
Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be considered recovering.
heroin kicks my ass.
I'm Lexie, and I'm a recovering alcoholic & addict. Alcohol, and then later opiates and heroin were my drugs of choice. I've been clean for three years, with the exception of smoking pot - which I have to say, has kept me off of everything else.
Since I got clean, I met my boyfriend and then a year and a half later we had our daughter, Caydee. Life isn't perfect but I try my best to support my family and stay on the right path. I have completely different friends, and have repaired many family relationships.
Recently stress has been weighing on me and I've been having thoughts of drinking. I'm here to get support and also give it to those who are in need. I have extensive knowledge of AA if anyone is interested.
...Is this the truth or am I overreacting?
