no i dont have my carer anymore, its just me now, which is making me even more scared about these mesages.
im going to speak to the police lady today and hopefully she'll come and see me, ive had yet more messages and im almost positive i know who's sending them now, but im really hoping im wrong. im not coping at all just now and i want so badly to give up fighting, ive just got no energy left i feel exhausted and so low.
thank you Katie for your replies and support i really do appreciate it
I hope the police lady does come and see you. Is there anyone who can stay with you while the police are looking into who's sending the messages? Has the police ever suggested about having alarms and stuff fitted in your house? Like they do when you get a restraining order against someone violent? It might make you feel a little safer - sorry if they have and I've forgotten; my brain isn't playing well today.
You can keep going Jo; you're doing so well and we're all proud of you. No need to thank me honey - is what I'm here for ♥
i do have one alarm left in my house from last time i may ask her to reactivate it for me, as it may help me to feel safer.
im trying to keep fighting i really am i just struggling lots at the moment.
Thinking of you Jo. I am so sorry. I have been so useless lately. Withdrawn from everything and everyone and I'm sorry because its not fair on other people. Hang in there hun. I know you can do it. We've been here before. Proud of you for fighting huni. Hugs tight xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
hey jo, i'm sorry i disappeared off ryl for a bit, have been thinking of you. its a good idea to get the alarm reactivated and whatever else that can be done to make you feel/be safe in your home.
you still storing tablets? best not to have that option hun, are you meant to be taking these?
glad the meds have started helpin *leaves hugs* sorry not got better words right now.
*leaves hug*
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
thank you Katie Roli and Anna for your support i do really appreciate it.
i had the alarm reactivated yesterday, so i now no if i push the button the police will be here in no time but im still feeling scared. i told her about who i thought it was and she is going to look into it. shes coming back to see me on friday afternoon.
yes im still storing tablets, its what theyre telling me to do, i have to do it i do, its part of the plan, voices head planning all the time cant stop it. they get so angry if i dont do what they want then they scream and shout at me, i cant deal with that anymore, i have to try keep them happy do what they want.
im due to see the doctor on monday for the next increase in medication, but the voices dont want me to go, but i no i need too really. it just feels like im constantly fighting them and it so hard, i feel exhausted and drained ive had enough now.
really really struggling just want to give up, i cant take this anymore. messages the voices just to much now, ive had enough.
im sorry i real low on words my head not good today.
im sorry im not doing good at the moment, things are just spiralling out of control, i feel like its not me in control of myself anymore, that some evil thing has taken over me. my head and thoughts dont feel right and the voices are so intense and wont go away.
im so scared the girl due for release is coming out next week and i really wish she wasnt especially with the messages im getting too. im just a nervous wreck.
i hate my life
i cant do this anymore
im sick of feeling like this and being scared.
i wish she wasnt being released this week i really do, im so scared i just want to run away. im really not coping well at the moment i feel like i could breakdown any moment, im harming again trying to stop the voices, but their demands are gettingmore and more severe. i just want some peace from them and from everything else.
im not doing so good right now, im finding it really hard to cope with everything even the smallest simplest things are a struggle at the moment. the voices have been really bad over the past week or so and their demands are getting more severe. im on a gradual increase in meds so hopefully they will ease up soon, i really hope so anyway.
i recieved lots of threatening disgusting messages yesterday which has left me wanting to run away as i dont feel safe at all, and i dont trust the police they couldnt protect me last time so how can they now. i am so scared that they are go come get me, i dont want to be hurt again.
im sorry my heads going crazy i shouldnt be writing this i shouldnt be bothering everyone im sorry im sorry
Try to trust the police; they'll be trying their best to help you. Have you heard from the police woman you'd spoken to before? I know it's hard to trust them with what you've been through.
really struggling to keep going right now, everything has got to much to bare and i cant cope with it all anymore. the voices come and go but when theyre here they are so intrusive and strong i cant function. its like they have complete control of me and my actions.
ive been storing some of my meds like the voices have been telling me but now i feel so low that ive been thinking about taking them. i just feel so alone and desperate just now.
the messages have also increased a lot and there was an incident 3 nights ago but the police have been good but i am so scared i dont want to live like this no more, i just want it over with now.
*curls up in hidey spot*
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
