So, Lately I've been trying to deal with my eating issues for my physical and mental health's sake. I've had a very unhealthy relationship with food for a long time, going through phases of bulimia and COE wich ultimately led me to be very overweight.
I was also completely sedentary, so when I decided to do something about the situation I joined a gym - that was in November - and been going pretty much every day since then. I've lost a lot of weight, but still have a lot more to lose - some days I'm very happy and proud of myself for how far I've come and some days I'm very unmotivated and get a little depressed thinking of how much I still got to lose and how hard it is. Anyway I've been exercising a lot and trying to eat healthier. The eating part is going through phases - when I'm well it goes great, when I get depressed or anxious it's not so good, but overall I'm managing at least not to gain weight.
This last couple of weeks I had some stuff happening to me and got very unmotivated to go on with the process. I know how important it is to me and how much I want it, but at the same time, I'm doing what I can to stay sane and safe, if you know what I mean, so I'm trying not to stress about it.
My mom, though, keeps stressing me up, pressuring me. She keeps asking what I've eaten when she gets home, saying stuff like "Aren't you going to the gym?" or "What are you doing? You were going so well and now you're going to ruin it" and no matter how many times I ask her not to do this she keeps up. This is, some days, stressing me to a point that triggers my compulsive eating. I know she mean well, but it's backfiring.
I was wondering if anyone goes through similar situations with people pressuring you and if so how you deal with it.
Does she know why you don't want her to do it? I know that sounds dumb obviously you wouldn't want her to do it anyway but I mean does she know it stresses you out to that extent that it makes the problem worse? Would she stop if you explained that to her?
Yes, Yes and Yes. My parents are always on my back about how much i'm eating and weight gain. My mum mostly tells me how 'fat' I'm getting but I usually argue back and tell her i'm not 'fat' but curvy. I am actually just boardline the high end of healthy/overweight catogery for my height but when I was younger I was always 'skinny' so to my mum it looks like 'fat' I recognise I need to lose weight though but with the pressure from my family, It either leads me to being 'rebellious' and eating junk or makes me want to 'comfort eat'
My dad always says stuff like "eating again" but I think he trys to be helpful by challenging me.
I think, you need to exercise and eat healthy for yourself and how you think and feel.
I actually work at a gym (another reason I need to 'lose weight' and I feel pressure here too) and one of the things we do as a first step of the gym induction process is a goal session. It asks questions such as:
1) why do you want to go to the gym?
2) What are your goals of coming to the gym?
3) What do you look like/feel like now?
4) How will coming to the gym help this?
5) what would happen if you stopped coming to the gym/how would you look?
These questions are asked I guess for motivational purposes. Maybe you could answer them and stick them up on your wall or by your gym bag?
Another thing that will help with motivation is having a specific program? If you haven't already got one. Most gyms will provide you with a program for free. Also having an 'exercise buddy' can help spur you on. Like making sure you go to the gym/a class cause you don't want to stitch each other up.
I know how important going to the gym is for weight loss/maintenance but it shouldn't feel like a 'chore' and if you can't go at the moment try (as hard as it is) not to feel bad or guilty. Maybe instead try and go out for a walk or a cycle ride..this will help clear your head and things. Also as I'm sure you know regular exercise is good for lifting mood and reducing stress but if the gym is too much at the moment, maybe trying to keep an active lifestyle will help you feel confident when you return to the gym and help you stay motivated.
I don't really deal with the pressure from my family overly well. I mainly just ignore there comments but sometimes they still eat away at me but prehaps when your mum triggers you to overeat go through the process of asking yourself "am I really hungry?" "do I need this?" "how would I feel after?" "would it make me feel better?"
I know sometimes challenging my thoughts and how I feel helps prevent negative behaviours.
Good luck with it, Sorry that you feel this pressure.
xxx
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
HopeRises, that suggestion of writing down your motivations to loose weight is great, I've already done it, but it's been a while - my therapist suggested to me last year. Thanks for reminding me, I found it and it is a great boost for the hard days.
Nicky, I think you're right, I have to talk to her. I tend to just bottle it up and be passive aggressive 'cause I find it very hard to talk about my feelings, but I'm working on it.
As to how I deal with people pressuring me to lose weight, I'd have to answer....badly ;) Especially in the past I'd tend to do the opposite to their suggestion, 'just to spite them', even though of course really I knew that I was the only damaging myself. My Mum would encourage me when necessary but knew that I wouldn't respond well to pressure. And I 'm also lucky that other people who care/cared for me, act in the same way. You know you'll get no pressure here.
