hold on Callie
eek its a bit long sorry take your time callie,
Hey Callie, hugs you gently,
youve had a really difficult holiday when it should have been ok
You will be exhausted right now being awake like 24 hours i know how gruelling that is, i was on a holiday myself with plane journeys upto 24 hour hours. Hugs you again. And it must have been so hard for you to sleep if your mum snored.
Im sorry you were still feeling so bad as well while on holiday, I understand you about not packing your tools, a wise decision because of the hightened security . Yet i understand how scary that must have been
for you, not having any tools. I guess it must have tuff for you, please try not to be so hard on yourself, if its the first time youve been without your tools then it would have been difficult. You were bound to feel uneasy. And im sure you managed the best you could. You managed better than me, i did SI when i was on holiday in spain at my parents.
That must have been so hard to have your mum have a meltdown in the middle of Quiznos,and especially her saying she thought you hated spending time with her. And especially with your mum saying you dont have the perfect mother and daughter relationship.
Hugs you again.
you didnt deserve those words im sorry she felt that way callie.
It can be hard sometimes spending time with our parents , i have struggled myself with my parents who live in spain and me going to stay,
especially with me being depressed and all my other stuff. Im sorry its made you feel so bad when youd hoped it would be a chance to get away and relax. I hear you about making space between you and your mum.
Im sorry your mum couldnt see it from your point of view and understand and accept how you were feeling. It must be hard for you if she takes everything so personally. I m sure you want an official diagnosis, and i hear you about if your mum found out you were clinically depressed, shed blame herself , i think all parents feel that they have failed in some way. But really its not the case, I hope she sees it from your point of view if she finds out from you, what is important is understanding and accepting you Callie for who you are and what you are going through. I hope your mum can do that with you.
You have a good way of explaining things, such as you feel like gum stuck on the bottom of a shoe. I hope you manage some sleep Callie its a shame your back at work so soon.
Your not rambling , hugs you, you have every right to vent and you keep on doing it, no appologies needed. It sounds like you need some time to yourself to relax and gain some strength back,and some decent sleep,
i hope you can find this important space to recover yourself.
Hey please be gentle with yourself Callie,you have alot going on in your life right now, please take one thing at a time,ok so you quit your job before getting a new one.
You can get through this, take some slow deep breaths,if those jobs arnt answering im sure you can apply for others. Please try and be patient if you can, if you dont get everything sorted before the lease is up then
is there anywhere else you can stay other than your mums. If not try and look at it that for the short term you will be at your mums, this can help you focus on searching for a job.
please be gentle with yourself if you can, we are all here for you Callie
keep posting and
take care
Dave
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