Struggling in general hospital

[pixiedust]

Hi. I haven't posted in ages & I doubt anyone remembers me but please, I could really do with some support & advice right now.
I'm currently in a general hospital due to other issues other than my ED but since I've been here my potassium level's dropped a lot. I've had the treatments they've been giving me but they've noticed I'm not eating barely anything at the moment though to begin with they put it down to me having no appetite from being ill. They've said before I can go home I need to start eating more but this in turn had lead to me hiding & throwing away food & making them think I've had it. I know rationally this isn't the way to go as my bloods will continue to stay low & also I'm feeling physically not great but I can't get my head around eating more. I've been in a really bad place with food recently & the anxiety of the calories in the drips they've made me have is making it too hard to have anything. I don't know what to do. I can't end up back in the psych ward again which I know I'm at risk of at the moment but I don't know how to change things around. Not eating is the only thing I can control at the moment & I've put on so much weight from a bad period of binging & purging that I have to lose it all & this is the only way. I haven't seen my dietician for the last few weeks, partly as I was avoiding her & partly to generally not doing well/being in hospital. I will try to contact her on Monday if I get home but I'm really anxious about not getting home tomorrow as I really need to get home. I dont know what to do.

[pixiedust]

Thank you for your reply. Crackers is a good idea, I managed some of them the other day. Just worried they don't count it as ' enough'. At least I'm off IVs today which'll hopefully make things a little easier. I've texted my support worker where I live this morning & asked her to make sure I contact my dietician tomorrow as I know I have no choice but to try & improve things at the moment if I don't want to end up back in (presuming I get out!) The difficulty is at the moment is they missed me out twice today, asking if I wanted breakfast/ordering for lunch & I can't bring myself to go to them as that's against everything in my head but there's a bit of me saying I have to try to have something if I want to go. I'm so confused & frustrated at the moment.

[LittleCloud]

Even if crackers aren't enough- they are something and they way I look at it with myself is that even if I just have one or a couple of foods they keep me on the track of eating and are better than nothing because it gets harder to eat the longer you go without. Getting your dietitian informed sounds like an excellent idea. I hope you can get them on board

[pixiedust]

Thank you. I did manage some at lunch. I'm thankfully at home now. I'll try my best to contact my dietician tomorrow.

[LittleCloud]

I'm glad that you're home. Are you feeling safer mentally?
I hope you can get in touch with your dietitian soon

[EyelinerAndCigarettes]

I'm glad to hear you're home & I'm proud of you for lunch!

How are you feeling now? Did you manage to call your dietician?

x x x

[pixiedust]

Hi. I haven't managed so far to contact her as there was something in my brain stopping me. I.think I'm going to call her now though as I'm scared. I've agreed to go into hospital for my mum buy I'm terrified of them making me eat. I'm do scared. I'm sorry.

[LittleCloud]

I understand how terrifying the hospital staff making you eat feels. Can you make a agreement on a sort of minimal meal plan? Even if you are able to ring in some safe foods that might help

[pixiedust]

Thank you for your replies, sorry I haven't replied before now, it hasn't been a good week.i was admitted to the psych ward last tuesday & I'm really struggling to do what they want of me. A few times they've me have fruit or crackers rather than my meal plan but I'm even struggling with that. I'm asking the dr to go home today because I can't brass being in here anymore but I just don.t know how to change things around.